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  Hug

  From OpenMinded1 May 5

  Hey, there, Karateka! Meriden can be a depressing place to grow up. I grew up there, myself -- I'm a Platt High graduate. During that time, my mom was an alcoholic and my dad used to beat me with a belt. Those things sure had an effect on me! I wish I'd had resources like this forum at the time. I wish someone had told me about Al-Anon and Alateen for friends and children of alcoholics and drug abusers. I wish that I had known that places like these exist where I could have met other people *who coped successfully* with these problems, and with compulsive gambling, rage and violence, and all kinds of other family disorders. I wish I could have learned from them when I was 16. Instead, I used sex, cutting, and weed to try to cope with what was an insane situation. My behavior was crazy, but reacting by going crazy in a crazy situation is, if not sane, then at least understandable. Al-Anon or Alateen meetings will help even those who are not involved with someone else's alcohol or drug problem. There are people like me there. There are people like you there, too. I'm much older now, and I'm working the Adult Children of Alcoholics program -- you can read about them at http://www.adultchildren.org/ . This has been very, very helpful for me. I hope that you might find them, or some other similar place where you can talk without fear, and learn from those who've been in just your situation. One more thing: parents usually want the best for their kids. Even my dysfunctional ones did -- but they weren't parented well, themselves, and they could only pass on the dysfunctional stuff they'd grown up with to me. But good intentions by parents aren't enough unless they're backed up with appropriate and positive actions. I take it your parents want to remove the things that aid you in hurting yourself, and while that's understandable, it's pretty much impossible to stop a self-abuser who doesn't want to stop. They probably don't understand that, and that's not their fault. I'm not asking you to stop. In fact, I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want to do. But I am telling you that you really are not alone, and that other people have been where you are and come out happy. I hope that you will make the effort to find and meet these people, now, when you're young. Good luck. My heart goes out to you -- a fellow Meridenite!

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  Little Love

  From meisaal May 4

  It's hard when parents are intractable. Just make sure they know that cutting is not para-suicide, and is not harmful in itself. It's a release valve when other things are wrong, things that cannot be immediately solved, or that one doesn't understand and can't fix. Cutting is a sign of problems, not a problem in itself. Telling this to them might help. Or it might not; it depends on whether your parents care about appearances or reality. Sounds like they care mostly about appearances. If nothing else, remember you will be old enough, soon, to get the hell out of there where you can breathe. Just hang on for that. With hugs of support, Meisaal

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  High Five

  From FrozenChosen February 23

  Tell me about your Karate. Style. favorite kata, kicks, moves, etc. What are your goals? I practice Goju-Ryu, so do my kids, 16 and 17.

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