Elizzabeth's Journal

 i dont care if you read this or not, but im not changing my mind so dont try to please.......unless you have sumthin better for me to do over the weekend that i could add as an option to my list. anyways i wrote this kinda like me talkin to myself, so once again i dont care if u read it. but please no mean comments. thnx.

im not changing the freakin font this time. i feel like crap rite now. i havnt seen my therapist in over a month and all i wana do is sleep and lay in bed. iv ben trying not to complain and smile like everythings ok. but i can keep smilig. i want to feel that cold sharp blade breaking my skin. i want to feel the sticky red blood running down my arm. and i just noticed im smiling while writing this. im sharing a room with the wicked bitch of the 4th grade so that dosnt make anything better. shes my little sister.....unfortunatly. i get to be alone for the weekend so im thinking of what to do and iv narrowed it down to four things:

1. get high

2. get drunk

3. cut

4. invite my bff over and talk to her.

i dont like number four because friends are not therapists so im most likely not choosing that one. i dont want to make her feel depressed too. and #3 would b hard to hide because its summer and wearing a sweatshirt or long sleeves in florida looks stupid. #2 my mom might notice stuff missing, so i'll probably do #1. i'll just take random meds out of the cabinet and my backpack and take them. thats what i did last time and i felt great, but thats the only thing i remember.