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BinkyH 
I just got home from attending "A Conference of Hope and Healing" sponsored by a chapter of the Bereaved Parents of the USA. It was an inspiring day! We started at 7 am with a continental breakfast, then an opening ceremony with a speaker named Dr. Ann Kaiser Stearns. First, she read all our kids names out loud then gave a really great talk but it was still in the back of my mind that she has never lost a child. She has written 3 books and 2 of them have been printed in 7 languages. Then we went to our chosen workshops. We had 3 of them during the day. My first one was "Loss of a Child through Drug Abuse". The leader of that one was very compassionate and lost her baby boy at 5 months gestation. She sought me out after the workshop since she was aware how very new I am in my grief. Then I went to "A Grief Equation", which was amazing. The man who led the group is an engineer and he put grieving into a mathematical equation that stunned me! He lost his daughter to a car accident. This is hard to explain but what he basically did was make a fraction (numerator and denominator) with what he called "factors". Such as fear, anger, learn how to live without his child etc. One of the factors was the passing of years. He showed us how much longer it takes to get through our grief if we rely only on the passing of time and do not work on the other factors. Then we had lunch, which was lasagna, garlic bread, mac and cheese, salad and desserts. I know, the mac and cheese sounds like an odd combo. While we were welcome to eat whatever we wanted to, the mac and cheese was included for vegetarians who do not eat lasagna. Lunch was for 1 hour 15 minutes so we had plenty of time for visiting. They had a table to make picture buttons and a table selling books and other things. All at very reasonable prices. By this time, I had come to recognize faces. Then it was time for our final workshop. Mine was "The Early Years of Bereavement". It was a great session. We went around the table and told our stories. The leaders talked a bit about the things to expect in the early years. Then we had open discussion. It was like freedom to talk about the things we do that the "others" would never understand and not to be looked at like you are crazy. No one batted an eye when I told then that I sleep with Michael's ashes in the corner of my bed. No one thought it was crazy when the mother of a lost 20 month old boy told her story of her vacation. She said she took some of his toys with her so that he would "know" where she was. When she went home, she forgot them and actually went BACK to get them. She said that she just had to, because if she didn't, he would still be there and she would be back home. I thought that was a little nuts, but hey, who am I to say! I am the one with a box full of ashes in my bed. Then we had closing ceremony, which was held outside by a lake. A couple of poems were read and then about 5 huge balloons were released, which we all had signed if we chose to. I wrote "Michael, I carry you inside me once again. I love you and miss you, Mom". So it was genuinely a day of hope and healing for me. Just to be with all these people who truly understand was just so amazing. I didn't realize how lonely I am in my real every day life (except for DS).
Comments
I am so glad you went and so proud of you.. I have looked for a similar thing in Ontario but they do have it.. I am hoping to get a Compassionates friends up and running. I have talked to the head office.. love you sister...
munrogirl
Thank you for the info. It sounds as though you really got something from it. I will check their website to see if they offer anything for Georgia.
I really want to check out MADD, but the thearpists thinks it is too early for that because of all my anger at the boy.
doxylady
Sounds like you got a lot of information for yourself. Will have to check this out on website too.
ConH
For those of you interested in The Bereaved Parents of the USA or Compassionate Friends, I encourage you to start chapters. I am only able to go to special events due to distance. There are no chapters close to me and I cannot start one of my own due to you have to be between 18 to 24 months into your grief to start one. I am just approaching 6 months! When I get there, you better believe that i am going to start one for folks in my area! Hugs, Belinda
BinkyH
I love what you said..."Michael, I carry you inside me once again...." beautiful. You are blessed to be getting some help through this. I had Brandon's ashes right next to my bed on the nightstand but the therapist said it was not a good idea so the urn is on a table in the den. I plan to let go when we buy a family plot....we were not prepared for a death, of course....not even our own. Love to you....Dale, Brandon's Mom
Kingsdaughter
Wow binky what a great thing! Group energy is very powerful. Information and guidance is so important, and so is mac and cheese lol Forgive my joking, I have always laughed and I will never stop.
Thanks for the info on Bereaved Parents, I had no idea, there isn't much in Ohio. I am so warmed by your experience, I hear you on the lonely angle, I am so trapped with my parents right now, it's rough. later love ya Rebecca
rcoco
I'm glad you went to the conference and got some comfort from it. The Compassionate Friends has been a great help for me. I know I'm not alone in my feelings. I am going to check out the Bereaved Parents group too. Hugs, Kim
KimRW
Belinda, Have I told you that since Paul died April 3,2003 that I sleep very little. $ hours is a wonderful night for me. I have taken every kindof sleeping pill they make, and still can lay awake all night. When I do sleep I sleep with the light on. I never have been afraid of the dark. We live out in the country and it is very dark, I will go out and walk in the yard at 3 or 4 in the AM, but I sleep with the light on. We all develope these wierd things tha have no reason ryme or makes any sense, It is just the grief. You know I love you and Belinda, I bet you understand about the light thing. I love you Peggy
grndmudder
Sounds like it was a wonderful experience. I'm so glad you went and got so much out of it. You're doing great my friend!!! Hugs and love, Teri.
RememberKala
What a great experience! I'm so glad you were able to go to this and bond with these other parents. It definitely sounds like it was a healing time for you. Thanks for sharing the info. I've never heard about it before.
cryingmommy
A great experience thank you for sharing love Donna
cruzinoz
SO glad that you had a great day and got the comfort from the conference. Now and then we do need to talk to people about our loss and pain. love you heaps Robyn
rma
That is sooo great, i guess im apart of a compassionate friends group. I meet with a group every other monday. its helpful to know that others know what i'm going through. thanks for sharing and i feel the same...
much love,
Kandice
kk75
I am so happy that you were able to have this experience. It sounds like it was very positive for you. No, there are no chapters by me, either,..but I have found more comfort and support here on DS than anywhere else. (even after 2 therapists and a group) Bless you, Sweetie! Judy
JudyWI
Sounds like a good day. Well done you. Love and hugs Cathy
RockstarsMom
That sounds wonderful! It just really does help to be around people who have been there....truly no one else can ever really understand. I pray you continue your healing journey. Love, Julia
JulsMarie