Alexizmom's Journal

I do not understand why this had to happen. I ask God everyday why? I was never so prepared for anything in my life as I was for the arrival of you, my precious Alexiz Marie.  Your sister, Brooke, picked out your special perfect name that is unique like you. We were so excited! Your nursery was perfect also. I was able to fix everything exactly the way I wanted for you.  Your beautiful baby bed and bedding and all your clothes that we got for you. I bought so much that your closet and every drawer is full. I would go in your room all the time and just dream of the day of your arrival. Babies R Us was my favorite store. I would go there atleast twice in a week and there were even days that I went there more than once in a day. Your nannie came to the house just about everyday during the months I was pregnant and we would run and shop and talk about your arrival. Then there is your Great Grandma Alice that would go shopping with me and was in great expectations of your arrival. Everyone loved your nursery. Everyone could hardly wait to see you. Why did you have to leave us? I miss you so much it hurts. I love you my precious. I would always tell you that you were my angel from heaven and I was so blessed to have you. I miss holding you in my arms and sitting by the Christmas tree with only the lights from the tree on and feeding you in the middle of the night. Just you and me. That is one of the many special times that we had together that I will always remember. Oh my love, you are so beautiful. I just hope you know how much me, your daddy, your sisters and brother love you and we miss you. Your Nannie, Pa Pa Bob, Grandpa, and Great Grandma love you and miss you also. We are all hurting so bad. 

 I LOVE YOU ALEXIZ MARIE AND I MISS YOU SO BADLY IT HURTS!