ricksdar's Journal

I woke up early this morning with my oldest daughter texting me to find out if I was awake. I ignored her. I wasn't ready to deal yet! Love her dearly, but she is as hyper as I use to be! Anyway, my hubby changed to channel to news only to find out it was Valentines Day. I had completely forgot, I felt terrible. I told him that I hadn't been able to get him anything because I had forgotten it was already Valentines Day. He kinda got quiet, he had just gone to Walmart yesterday on his way home, then he admitted he had forgotten too. I started to laugh. I guess you know your happily  married when you can forget its Valentines Day and it doesn't really matter. He spoils me everyday and normally ten times as much on this day. We have been so busy lately trying to make ends meet with his lay-off, figuring out what to do about our youngest daughter, painting the bathroom and just dealing with everyday life that we forgot about sweethearts day. I do feel bad. I love to spoil him when I can. He does so much for me all year long, that when I get the chance to show him just a little how wonderful I think he is, I jump on it. I guess we'll have to make our own Valentines Day!

I was reading Donna's journal entry and it got me thinking. Am I doing everything I can for myself? I have a tendency just to forget about things I don't want to face. Have I done that lately? I know that i have put off my pap, but had help from my periods never being there when they were do. I found out that was because my thyroid is kaput! I promise myself I will call just as soon as this one is over and get it over with. I hate voluntary rape. I know maybe it isn't that bad, but at my weight it feels like it. That is one thing I have been putting off, moving more, doing more, even just a little. I did manage to sweep the floor last night, and I have made it out to DS more than I thought I would. That doesn't make exercise does it?

My goal was to start living again this year. DS was a  start. I have to figure out what my next one is. I really do need to get back into my crafts again, find something I look forward to doing daily. I hope to get back onto Effexor soon, I'm worried that this depression will only get worse. I'm not sure how long I can go without it. I have already started getting bitchier, poor Rick!

I need to get online and find out how to paint my kitchen table and what type of top coat to use.