TimeIsOfTheEssence's Journal

December came in as quickly as the snow did, with Thanksgiving passing uneventfully- the Francis family celebrated by going to their aunt Helena's house. It was always fun to go to a family event from their father's side, since he was one of seven children, and the amount of cousins was endless. Where Gabrielle lacked friends, she had cousins, only a few of whom she was close with. It had been nice to get together with them and forget about her college fears and her newly realized sexuality. Both problems seemed to be wait-it-out-and-see problems, so for the time being, Ellie pretended they didn't exist.
    The school bell rang, and before it had even ended her last period English class was completely cleared out. Ellie smiled politely at her teacher, a woman named Ms. Kilburn, who either wore pink or yellow skirts to class every day. She was something out of a 1950's show, perfectly curled hair, nails matching her outfit, as happy as could be. Ellie liked her bubbly personality- it was a good end to any day.
    She trudged down the hall on the left side, moving along with the crowds of kids in her little high school. When the bells rang she was reminded of driving- one lane going one way, the other moving in the opposite direction, with lots of sudden stops and random accidents.
    Jason fell into step next to her when she passed by his Social Studies door. True to his word, he hadn't said a word about their talk, and to her surprise once again, nothing changed between them. He was still her little brother- protecting her as if he was the older of the two- and he was still her favorite person.
    "Can you tell mom and dad that I'm going to Tommy's?" he asked her, raising his eyebrows in teasing way. "Aly-Mae is coming over to hang out with us. They don't need to know that part, though."
    Ellie shouldered past a group of freshman that had stopped in the middle of the hallway intersection to talk in high-pitched, obnoxious voices. They all looked like barbie dolls, with too little waists, designer clothes, and far too much make-up for their age. She couldn't help but groan.
    "What's going on with you and Aly-Mae?" She asked as she finally managed to steer them left, down the Science hallway to locker 151, which had somehow managed to stay hers since her freshman year.
    Jason shrugged his shoulders, looking around to see who was listening. Probably everyone, since that was how this town worked. If something happened, everyone knew before the morning bell rang the next day.
    "I dunno El- she's pretty and she's smart sometimes, but we're just fooling around," Jay said in what Ellie knew was a completely frustrated way, though his voice stayed even and his face never changed. "She likes too many guys."
    "Then find a real girl, Jay."
    They stopped at Ellie's locker. She began to work on the combination locker. She tried to shove her english books under one arm, but as usual failed to balance them, and wound up handing them to Jason.
    "She is a real girl," He said, his voice deepening in a defensive way. "Aly-Mae's just young."
    "You're young Jay," She couldn't help but point out as she took off the lock, pulled out her blue backpack, and began packing up the books she would need for the night. She never brought a coat- barely any of the students did. Everyone was wearing sweatshirts bearing the high school sports, last names across their backs.
    "Whatever, El. I'm not judging you, don't judge me."
    Ellie turned her eyes up to him as the words cut her. He looked angry. She felt betrayed.
    "Don't look at me that way. You asked for that one. At least I'm going after what I want."
    The words cut deeper. Her eyes started watering without her permission. She turned away angrily, tearing the english books from his hands as she did so.
    "I'll tell mom you're with Tommy. Go be a fucking retard. It's your life to waste."
    Jason looked taken aback. Ellie wasn't one to fight back. She typically kept her thoughts to herself, her feelings on lockdown, and her tears never fell. She was becoming far too emotional.
    "Listen- I'm sorry I just- ugh!"
    Jason turned on his heel and headed down the science hall toward the foreign language hall, where his own locker was. Ellie furiously rubbed her eyes, pushing the tears away before they fell. She shouldered her backpack, slammed her locker shut in her anger, and locked the lock- a few people looked at her as she passed, surprised to see the valedictorian in such a state. She felt mortified.
    With her eyes to the ground, she pushed past the other students.
    With her eyes to the ground, she ran squarely into another soft body wearing black and white checkered Vans. The other body dropped a book- a black hardcover that looked to be at least five hundred pages- directly onto Ellie's feet.
    A noise escaped Ellie that sounded like someone being strangled as the two collided.
    Without missing a beat, Gabrielle bent down to pick up the book, apologies spewing out of her mouth.
    The other person- a girl, by the looks of her hands, bent down at the exact moment Ellie did, and their heads collided harder than their bodies had. Both groaned and laughed. Ellie looked up to see who she had run over, holding the book out.
    Her breath caught in her throat as the smell of lavender filled her nostrils.
    Eyes the color of emeralds, shining just as brightly, looked back at her. A smile filled the only once familiar full lips. Ellie couldn't find any words. She just stared stupidly, feeling her heart trying to pound through her sweatshirt, hearing the blood rushing behind her ears.
    Gia looking radiant, as she had that first day. Even squatting there wasn't an inch of unwanted fat on her- and unlike all of the students in the small town high school, she wore jeans that fit perfectly, and a knit v-neck sweater that showed just enough of her cleavage to be inviting, but not too much that it made her look like she was asking for it. And to top it off, she was in shiny black heels. Ellie couldn't help but think that she looked like a bum in her sweatshirt, faded jeans, and running shoes.
    She couldn't help but get her eyes caught on that purple v-neck, her eyes wandering over Gia's collar bones, over the swell of her breasts. She wanted to run her fingers along the path her eyes had just followed. To put her lips against-
    "Ellie."
    It wasn't a question. It just was. It was her name coming from those luscious lips. Ellie's eyes traveled to them. She was unable to be embarrassed for ogling the other girl- she still wasn't sure that she was really there. Gia had not yet taken the book, though they were both still squatting on the linoleum floor, the last bell of the day sounding through the halls that were for the most part clear of students now.
    Could you be any creepier? You need therapy, Ellie. Staring at another girl's breasts, imaging them in your mouth... you are absolutely ridiculous and childish and gross. Even if they are perfect breasts...
    "I'm sorry I ran into you," Gia said, her voice singing lullabies in Ellie's head. "I'm-"
    "Gia," Ellie finally said, smiling like she had just won the last race all over again.
    "You remember."
    Gia finally took the book, blushing a deep cranberry red- it looked lovely against her olive skin, making her come even more alive in front of Ellie's eyes. Gia looked absolutely puzzled, but quite please and happy at the same time. It was disconcerting.
    The italian-looking beauty stood up, offering her hand to Ellie to pull her up as well. Those soft hands felt like silk on Ellie's skin. She looked down at their hands after she'd stood, fantasies of holding those hands for hours floating through her mind's eye. Gia didn't pull her hand away for a short time, watching Ellie intently.
    "I didn't think I'd run into you again," Gia said softly, breaking the silence along with Ellie's daydreams. Ellie came back to the present, clearing her throat nervously before she laughed for lack of anything better to do or say.
    "I didn't think I would see you either. Are you- do you come here often?" She asked the red-head, the sound of her thunderous heartbeats surely giving her away.
    "My mother is the Vice Principal."
    So her last name was Gianna Marino. It was a name that matched the girl in front of her, easily rolling off the tongue, sounding smooth and welcoming
    "Small world," Ellie said with a smile, feeling a bit calmer. Gia started to walk toward to main offices, pulling lightly on Ellie's sweatshirt to let her know she wanted her to come along. Ellie didn't need to be asked even once- she would have followed without the offer, soaking in those green eyes, making the ones she had seen in her dreams for the last few weeks dull and ordinary in contrast.
    "Even smaller town," Gia said, walking slowly, throwing glances at Ellie just like at the race. "Judging by the backpack, you're a student. And you're a- ?"
    "Senior. Just turned eighteen at the end of September."
    They turned the corner and went up to the main office, but instead of going into the door that lead to the Vice Principal's office, Gia sat on one of the wooden benches just outside the door, eyes on Ellie. Ellie sat down next to her, sitting on the edge of the bench, hands clasped tightly together in her lap. She looked down at them as she continued on.
    "I'm hoping to become a surgeon once I leave- I've applied just about every where," She said with a small frown, different butterflies filling her stomach. "I don't think I've seen you here before- were you a student here?"
    "Oh, no. My mother's only been Vice Principal here for two years. We moved up from Florida. And I must say, I hate the snow."
    Ellie nodded in earnest, looking up into bright green, losing track of the subject of the conversation for a moment. It took her a good ten seconds to simply agree.
    "Oh, me too. I feel like I'm trapped when it snows."
    Gianna's eyes studied Ellie, looking over what seemed like every inch of her face. Ellie could feel her cheeks heating again, and she had to look back down at her hands again.
    "I know the feeling. My older sister still lives with us," Gia said. Ellie listened as hard as she could, taking everything in. "She's twenty- I'm seventeen. I graduated early to attend the community college for a year, then go to college to become... whatever, I guess. I'm not quite sure yet."
    "You've no idea at all?"
    Gia sat in thought for a minute, finally looking away from Gabrielle's face.
    "Some days, I want to be a chef. Other days I want to be a sociologist. Then, maybe a zoologist." Gia said, ticking off more than enough professions. Ellie had never heard one person want to be so many different things at once- it was intriguing and confusing.
    "But then, some days I want to be a psychologist. How am I supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life? I'm seventeen years old."
    Ellie had never heard it put like that. She didn't really talk to anyone besides her family and Cat- and she and Cat had both wanted to be doctors since they were kids, back when Cat's family had first moved to their small town at the age of five.
    "But surely one has more of a pull than the others..." Ellie said, her brows knitted together, trying to figure it out. "You can't want to be them all equally."
    "I do. I want them all and I want none of them. What if I choose, and my decision is the wrong one?"
    The door to the Vice Principal's office opened, and both girls jumped up like they were doing something wrong. Ellie was caught off guard at the look on Gia's face, then on Mrs. Marino's. She looked positively... furious. Her eyes darted from one girl to the other.
    "It's time to leave, Gianna. I see you've made a new friend." The Vice Principal said. It was only in that moment that Gabrielle realized that Mrs. Marino had the same green eyes, though hers were older, wizened... and had not one ounce of kindness in them, unlike her daughter's.
    "This is Gabrielle-"
    "Francis. I've never formally introduced myself. I'm the current valedictorian."
    Ellie held out her hand to shake Mrs. Marino's. The older woman shook it quickly and dropped it as if she had been scaled, then reached up to brush back a few flyaway gray hairs that should have been held back with the rest of her very large brown bun.
    "A pleasure. I suspect you have studying to do- being valedictorian and all. The salutatorian will be trying to steal your spot." Gia's mother said with a tight lipped smile. Gia had only gotten the one thing from her mother- apart from their eyes, it would have been hard to tell they were related.
    Ellie looked at Gia, surprised to see her looking shame-faced and solemn, eyes averted from her mother's, looking everywhere but at either of the two people she was standing with.
    "I suspect you're right," Ellie said, not wanting the conversation to end. Gia finally looked up and caught her eye, and the elephants returned, stomping Ellie's insides into a puddle of sheer stupidity.
    "Wait here, Gianna. I left my keys in my office."
    Mrs. Marino went back into the oak door labeled "Vice Principal", clearly in a hurry to leave. Gabrielle had a feeling that she was not wanted in the school any longer.
    She smiled at Gia as a goodbye and began walking off, bookbag over shoulder, mind completely full of fantasies.
    You probably won't see her for another month, idiot. You should have gotten her number- surely she has a cell phone, everyone has a cell phone! Stupid stupid stupid...
    She had made it back down the science hall, hating herself the whole way. Ellie's hand had just brushed over the door handle to the back door of the school which lead out into a small parking lot where her sage green Taurus was, when a small hand closed around her arm and spun her around.
    She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn't heard the girl in her fantasies running up behind her.
    "I'm sorry about my mother," Gia said in an exhale, slightly out of breath. Had she run the whole way? She sucked in heavily and exhaled in the same way, and Ellie knew that she had.
    "What do you mean?"
    "I... she doesn't trust me," Gia said, looking over her shoulder, as if expecting to see her mother towering over her. Her mother probably had no idea that her daughter had run off when told to stay put, but would know within the minute, unless she still couldn't find her car keys.
    "I don't understand. But whatever, it's ok."Ellie said, shaking her head, trying to brush brush her questions away. By the way Gia kept throwing furtive glances at the hallway behind them, she expected her mother to show up any moment.
    "I want you to understand, though," Gia said. Ellie's heart gave a little flutter, making the elephants stomp some more.
    You're looking too much into this. She's just a normal girl.
    "Listen I- I have to go," Gia said, sighing exasperatedly. "Give me your hand."
    Ellie didn't question the italian goddess- she held out her hand eagerly.
    Gia pulled a blue permanent marker out of her pocket, pulled off the cap, and wrote something. Gia was so busy getting her eyes caught once again on that v-neck that she didn't watch what Gia was writing.
    The red haired beauty stepped back, preparing to run back to her mother, whose pumps they could both hear clicking down the hallway.
    Ellie looked at the palm of her hand, where 10 digits shone brighter than any timer of any race. The elephants stampeded, her heart swelled tightly inside her chest, and she smiled brighter than a thousand suns.
    "Please call me," Gia said softly, placing her fingers gently under Ellie's chin to turn her face up to look into the other girl's eyes. Ellie couldn't breathe.
    "It was... wonderful to see you again."
    With an overpowering wave of lavender, Gia was gone.
    Ellie walked out the back doors, barely paying attention to where she was going, staring at her hand like those ten numbers written in a leaning-left slant would disappear.
    She didn't even remember getting home, but somehow, she found herself sitting in her driveway in utter disbelief, number already programmed into her small silver flip phone.