TimeIsOfTheEssence's Journal

We're on a three day pass for the fourth of july weekend. It fucking rocks.

So far I've eaten peanut butter m&m's, gone shopping, had mountain dew, and am ready to vomit because I did an hour and a half of pt this morning with two other people and drill sergeant and I am exhausteddd!

My cousin gave me her PSP and two games, and two movies, and I got the harry potter game and it's the shit- I love personal time now.

I thank YOU for the add on MySpace back- it was a pleasant surprise and a big step forward I believe. It's nice to see that you are doing well, and I hope it's nice for you to see that I am a completely different person now. Who knows what the future could bring- though I am going active so yeah, that's a BIG who knows hahaha.

I have kind of fallen for someone that I thought I shouldn't have at first. I am falling, I should say. I am still very very hesitant because of my past and because it's a guy and that's just so weird to me. But he is incredible and always has been, I just needed the realization to hit and for me to go off on my own life to get it all into my head and get my emotions in check.

I have pushed myself so hard here. To my limits. Past them. I never give up, never accept defeat, never surrender. I live by my warrior ethos and will continue to do so when I get home. The problem is that now I am soldierized and I will have the hardest time just going back to the civilian world and trying to fit back in. I think everything is fucking lazy, and annoying, and just plain old fucking unappreciative of my battle buddies and the shit they put up daily just so that mother fuckers can run their mouths and be fat bodies. Just no.

See? Yeah.

I have changed a lot.

I need 70 more points to max my pt test. I have done 50 sit ups (50-some points), 15 min 2 mile (over 100 points), and 30 push ups (like 80 points). I need to do 78 sit ups and a few more push ups. I am going to do it. My run? I could walk and still do it. Thank you cross country!

I have a four pack now. And killer arm muscles. I could definitely pwn anyone who tried. Even you, guy. Yes you. You always said I couldn't but I definitely took down two guys in combatives at once and refused to let them kick my ass. I am a mother fucking beast.

Well I am going back to the barracks to have dinner chow and just chill- shower and call mom and shit.

Love all you guys.

And seriously? Be thankful for what you have.

I am losing friends, and possibly my own life one day, for you to live your life freely.

I have never been more thankful in my entire life and more... locked up, I guess you can say.

I hope I never have to put on one of those silver bands on my wrist.

*shudders*

But yeah. Goodnight for now.

FIREWORKS TOMORROW!

They should be the shitttt since they're on post!!