Journal

My dad's mom called my house, my mom answered. Now she's a compulsive lyre so idk what was said, but according to her she said that my other side of the family knows I'm pregnant and my dad won't cause trouble about it, but he wants to meet him when he's here. Ive talked about my father before but not in detail for awhile, so if you've been my friend on here for awhile you can skip the bold part. I was a product of a one night stand, my dad & mom were never together. He wanted full custody, he got visitation 3 times a week. I would beg my grandma and mom not to make me go, I would hide and have panic attacks. They took me to a counselor in the courthouse, so the counselor could tell the judge to give my mom full custody. I told the counselor my dad was molesting me, locking me in closets while he was doing drugs, dropping me off at his friends houses who I didn't know. Now I don't remember any of this, I repressed all of my child hood until I was like 12. Whatever else I said got one of my dad's daycare license taken away. They examined me for rape and there was no signs of any penetration, but they can't test for forced masturbation. No way would I ever put myself or mom son in a potentially dangerous situation, but sometimes I wonder if my dad really did it. I can't remember it would be so horrible if he was wrongly accused.  There's evidence that he did it, I know he did it, it's just that naive vulnerable part of me that everyone has. He's manipulative,arrogant and talks like he always has a motive. I wouldn't like him anyway and what if he could manpulate me to belive him and think my mom made it up? Vince doesn't get it, he wants to meet him. He'll just try to get to me though him. He made a joke about it, right after I found out that he called today, he said don't worry we'll keep our son away from pervy grandpa. Not funny. It's just sad, I won't be able to have my son meet his grandpa and his grandma can't be alone with him because she'll get drunk and I have to teach him that she'll lie and say she'll take him some where or buy him somthing when she had no intentions to. At least my uncle Tim is like my father, in a way. He can have him as a granpa. think he stopped stalking me in June, but  my myspace got hacked again :/ I just want to forget about my dad, but I know he'll come over at xmas to bring presents and invite me to xmas dinner. He knows I want him out of my life. I just want to avoid him, I heard these people strive on reactions, so i don't want any contact.

My dad's mom called my house, my mom answered. Now she's a compulsive lyre so idk what was said, but according to her she said that my other side of the family knows I'm pregnant and my dad won't cause trouble about it, but he wants to meet him when he's here. Ive talked about my father before but not in detail for awhile, so if you've been my friend on here for awhile you can skip the bold part. I was a product of a one night stand, my dad & mom were never together. He wanted full custody, he got visitation 3 times a week. I would beg my grandma and mom not to make me go, I would hide and have panic attacks. They took me to a counselor in the courthouse, so the counselor could tell the judge to give my mom full custody. I told the counselor my dad was molesting me, locking me in closets while he was doing drugs, dropping me off at his friends houses who I didn't know. Now I don't remember any of this, I repressed all of my child hood until I was like 12. Whatever else I said got one of my dad's daycare license taken away. They examined me for rape and there was no signs of any penetration, but they can't test for forced masturbation. No way would I ever put myself or mom son in a potentially dangerous situation, but sometimes I wonder if my dad really did it. I can't remember it would be so horrible if he was wrongly accused.  There's evidence that he did it, I know he did it, it's just that naive vulnerable part of me that everyone has. He's manipulative,arrogant and talks like he always has a motive. I wouldn't like him anyway and what if he could manpulate me to belive him and think my mom made it up? Vince doesn't get it, he wants to meet him. He'll just try to get to me though him. He made a joke about it, right after I found out that he called today, he said don't worry we'll keep our son away from pervy grandpa. Not funny. It's just sad, I won't be able to have my son meet his grandpa and his grandma can't be alone with him because she'll get drunk and I have to teach him that she'll lie and say she'll take him some where or buy him somthing when she had no intentions to. At least my uncle Tim is like my father, in a way. He can have him as a granpa. think he stopped stalking me in June, but  my myspace got hacked again :/ I just want to forget about my dad, but I know he'll come over at xmas to bring presents and invite me to xmas dinner. He knows I want him out of my life. I just want to avoid him, I heard these people strive on reactions, so i don't want any contact.

  Hi guys! Today was the day she would have been one and I didn't even cry once. Maybe I did enough crying on Halloween to tide me over until xmas lol.  There's teens who miscarried and want babies, I've talked about them before. Well  this one girl seems very ready and deserving, but from what I've heard about her boyfriend I think she will end up a single mom and I don't believe she fully gets what that means.  I had my friend from school Andrea who had miscarried before and was very pregnant at the time of my miscarriage. Without her maybe I would have been too ashamed to pick such a hard life. I just feel like a bad example, I'm excited I want to post pictures online but now i feel guilty. I'm happy i make her feel not alone though. I really do think teen pregnancy is contagious girls see others so excited, especially girls who already want their babies back. You guys taxes shouldn't be going to me because I made a mistake then decided to fix it by doing ot again lol. I showed Vince the baby cloths today even though I wasn't going to look at them for fear of them making me sad. I was happy showing him and that made him happy. I defiantly think sex ed should tech about miscarriage and pre term labor, most people who have them are teens. I didn't know what to physically or emotionally expect and it could help encourage abstinence and safe sex. How you could I go about having planned parenthood add that to there curriculum? I saw planned 51 and it to unrealistic, like the army would have thought the general was a zombie when he said the astronaut was not dangerous because "the alien"(astronaut) took the general aboard his ship, they thought humans can make people zombies by controlling their mind. Most pg movies are designed for kids and adults to like, but this one was for 5 year olds. I give it a 8/10 because it had a really cute alien dog lol.