Bereft of Beauty
October 4, 2009 10:20pm
There's a lot to learn when all's been forgotten,
There's nothing left except what's at the bottom,
Even when the barrel is empty …
sweetsomber 
2:19am, October 4, 2009
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About Me
sweetsomber
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About Me
I have Schizoaffective Bipolar II Disorder, Acute Anxiety Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. On the bright side, I have many blessings.
I have Schizoaffective Bipolar II Disorder, Acute Anxiety Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. On the bright side, I have many blessings.
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Interests
I enjoy playing piano, singing, writing, bad animation, comedy, documentaries, and drawing. I like to study world religions, existentialism, and the lives of artists.
I enjoy playing piano, singing, writing, bad animation, comedy, documentaries, and drawing. I like to
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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This entry is private
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This entry is private
This entry is private
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- Anti-psychotics make me feel numb.
- Depakote Not Working
- This drug made me extremely tired and I lost some of my motor skills.
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Holistic Health Working / Worked
- Yoga helps my body-aches and stress.
- Lamictal Not Working
- The drug gave me a rash. The doctor took me off right away.
- Lithium Not Working
- Lithium gave me horrible shakes. I was unable to play piano or keep a steady hand. I refuse to take Lithium.
- Risperdal Considering
- This drug costs close to $200 a month since I don't have prescription coverage. I'd like to try this drug again.
- Seroquel Not Working
- I had horrible crying spells when I was on Seroguel.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- I was on Wellbutrin for a year or so. I took it without a mood stabilizer and it made me suicidal.
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
This is scary... too much to say.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- PTSD fueled paintings.
- Effexor Not Working
- The drug made me manic and then really depressed.
- EMDR Too Soon to Tell
- I think they did this during the Rape counseling.
- Music Working / Worked
- I've written my favorite piano music under fright-full stress.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Yes, years of therapy. My therapist from the city I was living in two years ago saved me. I miss her.
- Rape Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- I've avoiding going back. It's a lot of work. But I need more advice.
- Reading Working / Worked
- Pieces of info from books that have helped: false flashbacks/memories, rape statistics, Existentialism.
- Seroquel Not Working
- It gave me crying spells.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Talking to my boyfriend about it is not a good idea. Hopefully I can get some feedback here.
- Zoloft Not Working
- I went on Zoloft ten years ago. It made me really agitated.
Open Rape
sweetsomber hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
My step-dad abused me while I was growing up. I don't see him much anymore. He has left deep scars in my sisters and I. I have the tendency to date abusive men.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- Drawing was another escape from my dysfunctional family. I would retreat to my room and draw for hours. Drawing helps me articulate my emotions, yet it's open for interpretation.
- Forgiveness Somewhat Helpful
- I forgave my dad a long time ago for leaving the family. I focus on the good attributes that I have learned from him. I can't forgive the men who have physically or sexually abused me. How can I forget?
- Leave Working / Worked
- My step-dad gave my mom the ultimatum when I was 15. He said, "Either she goes or I go". My mom choose him and I left home. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me.
- Music Working / Worked
- I learned how to play classical music on the piano when I was a child. Playing Bach and Mozart took me out of my abusive surroundings. It was a temporary escape. I continue to play the piano and I'm thankful I learned as a child.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Over 10 years of therapy. I finally saw how my step-dad justified his actions through Christianity. I learned about Ritual Abuse.
Open Bereavement
sweetsomber hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Insomnia
I have both Hypersomnia and Insomnia. I take Ritalin for Hypersomnia which gives me Insomnia.
Treatments
- Ambien Considering
- I tried this when I was in the hospital. I don't want to get hooked.
- Counting Sheep Not Working
- I never understood the counting sheep thing. I've had sleep problems for as long as I can remember.
- Music Not Working
- I need complete silence to sleep, unless I'm depressed and over-sleeping.
