Join Now
ForMomsOnly 
9:03am, May 20, 2009
To everyone who knows me
As you stand there and watch me,
I wonder what you see?
You see me from the outside
That’s not the real me...
I go about my business
Turn up for work each day,
I try to be efficient
But my thoughts get in the way...
Sometimes you see me laughing
At funny times we share,
Sometimes you see me happy
As if I haven’t got a care...
But as you stand there and watch me
As I go about my day,
You see me from the outside
So what else can I say?
I see me from the inside
My heart is split in two,
You go about so happily
I wish I could be like you!
For being on the inside
Of me with all my grief,
Makes getting up each morning
Harder than belief...
There are reasons to be happy
My family my health,
I’m tired of being an actress...
I want to be myself!
When I see me from the inside
I see a big black hole,
There’s nothing there but darkness
No heart, no mind, no soul...
So as you stand there and watch me
Please just don’t sympathize,
Try looking from the inside
Try looking through my eyes...
(author unknown)
Comments
yes, most of my family and friends look at me from outside . i need to look inside me to see how much sadness i have. it is hard to smile while ur heart crying. they want to believe that u got over ur drama and happy why? i dont know they my love us to convince themselves that we are happy . they ignore our feeling for their sake. but truewe will be sad moms until the end.
amoney
Amoney,
That is a sad truth that we all share. No one, but another Mother who has lost
their child, understand how we feel on the inside. There is no way they can....
kathiem
we are empty...we are sad...and have been masquerading with smiles and polite conversation...when, really..there is nothing polite about this vacancy in our chest.
thank you for the post...
Kingsdaughter
I think we can all identify with this, but so well put. Thank you x
Cherylsmum
Hmmm...felt this before...I think we should give them a glimpse of the inside from time to time so they KNOW how much of a struggle it is. If each of us would do that...there would be no "high" expectations of moms that lost children...Karen
biowoman
This is just so true. So many people see me go on with my life and I'm functioning, but few seem to want to see or accept what continues to go on inside of me. My heart is still broken. I feel like I lost a piece of me when she died.
jacqui44
This poem is wonderfully written & would be a perfect poem to post at work...When a child survives but the changes {LOSS} are so profound, your thrusted into the grieving parent abyss. We're mothers who've nurtured these kids since before their birth. Though my child survived, it's come at a high price; which i whole~heartedly accept & endure, as the privledge of being a mother!! MAYBE people in my situation can help somer of the other people who've lost children & are asking that unanswered question...why him/her.
gael63
This is a poem that should be posted for all the world to see....just so they can get an insight on how we really feel. Thanks for sharing, Hugs, Kim
KimRW
Beautiful & so very real...nothing is worse than the person saying to you "Oh so I see you are getting better" - like we are sick or better yet the person saying because we happen to be laughing or smililing "So nice to see you are finally getting over it."
annsullivan
perfectly said. thank you
roknauntt
So nice and perfectly said.
JerryJsMom
WOW!! Nobody else truly understands like another mom. NOBODY. Thank you!
JudyWI
The poem is exactly right. I so agree with Ann. But what also gets me is it is quite typical to lose weight after the death of a child or a spouse. I've lost 12 lbs in 5 months, and I've heard several "you look great" from people who know why its coming off and staying off so easily. I tell them straight out I know I needed to lose a few pounds but this was not the way I planned to do it. Last week my daughter had an experience where a coworker who'd been out on maternity leave when Mike died returned and asked my daughter what had happened to her brother. Katie told her, and the woman's only reply was "Bummer." When Katie got home and told me about it, I said I was really sorry about her insensitivity--how old was she--under 25 perhaps? NO--Katie said she was about her age--mid 30's. I told my counselor about the "Bummer" comment and he said some people are just so "death phobic" they have no clue what to say, and you are lucky they speak to you at all...
My daughter ended up fixing her problem by going back to the woman and telling her the "Bummer" comment was really inappropriate. They had a really nice talk and got to the heart of the problem, which had to do with the other girl being really worried about her own brother.
MaGeesmom
Exactly, thank you. Love, U
joeymom
ditto, love, donna
misshimsooo
Barbara,
Yep , that sums it up . Hugs, Inga
ihart
This sums it up about "wearing the mask". The one we will forever wear. It is so sad when we even have to wear it for our own family members. It is a burden, but one I willingly bear. I miss my son and forever will. Hugs, B
BinkyH