tbhope1's Journal

Hi Friends,

I'm sorry I haven't written lately, but I have not forgotten you!  I am simply overwhelmed with everything lately, and having Fibromyalgia makes life so much harder.  I hate to complain because I know that here so many are suffering much worse than me, but I know I owe you all an explanation.  I do not intend to quit coming back here.  I am hoping like those strong women before me to be an inspiration or a help in some way to deal with Uterine Cancer. 

I know that I end up talking more about Fibromyalgia than the cancer, but it is my unique situation and it has been greatly affected by the surgery and radiation.  At first I did great going through radiation, but now as time has passed, I can see that there have been big changes and my body is dealing with it in a different way due to the Fibro. 

I do get frustrated and depressed, and anxious because my body does not cooperate, and I feel like a whiner continually telling others how the cancer has affected me.  But due to my experience with living with a degree of deafness, I have learned to perhaps "overtell" in order to help others understand that I am not stuck up, not ignoring them, and not stupid, but just trying to do the best I can.  So many times when you can't see what someone is really feeling on the inside, you assume the worst. 

Tomorrow I am going to see my family doctor to review my medications, and to show her a very suspicous mole that is doing weird things on my back.  I am really concerned that it might be cancer, or a continuation of what I had, or maybe a reaction from radiation?  Who knows with all that is going on. 

In the meantime, I am working on my Avon because that is my lifesaver, and this weekend I am going to the state convention in Baraboo, WI.  I am very nervous and anxious about it, and trying to relax.  I will also add that my district manager was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer, and will have a mastectomy in about a month.  We talked briefly and she told me that there are several other in the district currently battling cancer, and I'm wondering where God is taking all this.  I am so much more aware of cancer now and want to contribute to helping others rather than always being on the receiving end.  All I can think of is that God keeps me humble with Fibromyalgia because my activities are so much limited. 

But, I will not ramble anymore, but to tell you thank you for still being there, and know that I have not forgotten you, even those who I have not written to, but to all women who have been touched by this tremendously life-altering struggle.

Love you all!

Theresa