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lfarr1 
3:25pm, November 14, 2009
I was asked a question over the weekend and it got me to thinking.
If I could change anything about the way I raised my own children what would it be? The thing that I would have to say would be I would have only worked outside the home the hours they were in school. I would have probably stayed more involved in their personal lives. Spent more quality time with them. I worked 3-11 for a few years, then midnight shift.
How do you think that change would have changed the outcome? You know this one made me realize that I probably could not have changed things. It was not about the way I raised them, it was about the choices they made. I gave them too many material things, spoiled them too much, and kept them out of as much trouble as was humanly possible. I should have let them fail more, let hem hit the ground and then pulled themsselves back up, instead of trying to fix it. I gave them love, taught them compassion for others. I taught them manners and to be respectful of others. I tried to teach them self respect. I succeeded with my son, he is an honorable Marine today. My daughter let drugs and an older man take her self respect from her. The drugs stole her self esteem and this creep (bio dud) kept her in drugs. She lied to cover for awhile. At the time she was 17 and the state of Texas said she was old enough to make her own CHOICES. She can rant and rave and blame whomever she wants but I know it was not me who failed her, it was her that failed her. I did what I knew to be the best I could.
Bio dud showed up at 2:10 Sunday. I let this man get under my skin, but he pushes. Seems he has his grown step daughter (my daughters age) hunting for free Christmas stuff for the boys. I went unglued. WHY???? Who gave him the right? He said with their mom in jail and him disabled (what crap) they could get gifts and stuff from certain organizations. Again , WHAT? Who does he think he is to try to get something for nothing, for kids he isn’t even raising. If he does not want to get them anything then don’t but don’t think that he can sign them up for charities. I am mad as heck…… I wish he would go away. The mom is in fairytale land. She still thinks after all this time that I am just watching her boys. WAKE UP.. I need to shake them both and scream this at them.
Comments
Even though the leg cramps woke me at 4 this morning. I have this dull ache in the lower left side. It is amazing to me how good you feel emotionally when not in considerate pain. I have done some online Christmas shopping this morning and looking forward to getting out of her and getting some yard work done before the rains come in tomorrow. Have numerous things I want to try to get done tomorrow. Going to pray the pain stays away so I can get it all done.
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Don't aggravate it by doing yard work! Isn't there someone else who can do that for you?
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As a matterof fact my neighbor just called me and wanted to know if I minded if he mowed for me. Heck no honey, mow away. i will owe him one. The best nieghbor anyone could ask for.
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My dad had muscle cramps like that and was told to take quianine (not sure of spelling) and he had no more muscle cramps not even the nightly leg cramps!
Might be worth asking about.
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Thanks.
Sometime in the middle of last night I had an awful leg cramp and jolted out of bed to stop it and when I did my back popped really loud and I almost fell down. I grabbed ahold of the dresser and when I straightened up the pain that has been constant in my left lower back was gone. It is still gone and I only ache right in the middle of my spine and slightly on the right lower back. Thank God for what ever happened that took that pain away and I pray it does not come back any time soon.
Life has a brighter outlook when you can think without pain. As I sit here in this chair it is uncomfortable a bit but tolerable. I pray it continues to be tolerable.
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I am so happy to hear you have some relief. I hope it continues. Don't ignore the leg cramp. I did and wound up in hospital for five days with blood clot. They said I was luck it did not dislodge and go to my brain. You just have to start blood thinners if that's what it is. They tracked it down to hormones I was taking. I remember one morning after my first visit to chiropractor for back pain. My family kept asking me how I felt. I said I didn't really know but after a few hours I said: "I got it! I'm not in pain!" Pain had become such a part of my life I didn't recognize life without it! Enjoy your day (hope it w/be many days) without terrible pain!
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Thank you so very much. I did mention the leg cramps to my PCP last time I was there and he told me to take more magnesium. I see him again on the 23rd. I have been stooping down alot more and not bending since my back has cramped so much. Also been trying to walk more since I am putting on a few pounds and know that is bad on my back too.. Going to try hard to be kind to my back so it will not hurt that bad again.
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kinda funny....I've thought about the same question and I feel I would have been less involved and let them learn to make their own decisions. Now I have raised gs encouraging him to make his decisions and understand the consequences....we'll see what happens.
daisydduck
I have been asked that question before and the only thing I could have changed was moving her away from my mom who enabled her to no end (figure she still would if dd showed up) and not burning myself out raising her to function in society and be able to hold a job (she has always done this). The people that knew my dd when she was little couldn't believe she came as far as she did and then bad chioces in men undid all I worked so hard to do!
I have known those raised in horrid abuse that turned out to be wonderful adults and parent their children, every one of them says it is a matter of breaking the cycle, you know how it felt DON'T do it to another child. Others raised "right" (what ever that is) who turn out HORRID!! It is all their choice!
Hugs to us all!!!
candsmom
Daisy it is funny that you mentioned that because my son told me I should have let him scrape his knees more and learn more from the mistakes he was making.
I hate being one of those people who feels like I have to fix everything and I am trying harder with these 2 to let them fall on occasion. I find myself actually telling my older one to figure it out and to think his actions through.
If you jump from there, what could happen? If you throw that stick up, it will come down, try not to be standing under it bt if you are you will get hit upside your head.
lfarr1