I have been married 23 years and have two children, one is 21 with a 2 years old boy, the other is 13 years. I have had anorexia for 36 years. I started drinking a 1/4 bottle of vodka the day my dad died. I find it to hard to grieve. He was my best friend, I could talk about anything to him and he would always have been there. I was addicted to drugs which started when I found out my daughter between ages of 3-5 was being raped by our neighbour. He was 78 old and denied it to start with but eventually, for some reason, he turned himself in. He got a 3 month prison sentence and served 6 weeks. That day she told me, just 5 years old, made my world a very different place and me a very different person. I dont trust people easily. I felt so guilty that it was my fault. She is well ok with it now. She did use drugs but thankfully stopped. I carried on using drugs for 11 years because I had to do something about it as social services my chilren on an at risk register and would not let me live at home. Thankfully that is all past now but it wil always stay with me. I do not like my mother. I am adopted and for some weird reason she thought it ok to physically and emotionally abuse me but not my other two sisters (who are blood related). My sister ran aways from home at 15 and when I eventually asked why she said she had seen mym mum beat me too many times and thought she would be next. I left home at 16, by that time I was in the early stages of anorexia. Both my sisters are heroin addicts and having beaten drug addicition myself I dont see them much. Anyway, one lives 60 miles away and the other lives in Ireland.
I have been married 23 years and have two children, one is 21 with a 2 years old boy, the other is 13 years. I have had anorexia for 36 years. I started drinking a 1/4 bottle of vodka the day my dad died. I find it to hard to grieve. He was my best friend, I could talk about anything to him and he would always have been there. I was addicted to drugs which started when I found out my daughter between ages of 3-5 was being raped by our neighbour. He was 78 old and denied it to start with but eventually,
Dont have any really, I watch too much tv or play games on the pc.
Dont have any really, I watch too much tv or play games on the pc.
July 23, 2009 4:44am
Yesterday was a real bad day. I owe it to members to say I drank today. Holly (daughter) was involved in a serious motorbike accident, no helmet, no …
July 21, 2009 12:56pm
I dont know, I dont recognise my achievement and feel I need to do that rather than others do it for me. I dont and never have been able to do …
July 14, 2009 4:46am
I dont know. I have conquered so many things. Not always successful but never give up trying. Yesterday (UK Mon pm) my husband went to get food …
July 9, 2009 9:56pm
My journal is cross indexed with a post. I wanted to post it in my journal mainly for me to realise how anorexia affected me.
For those who …
I always thought I was a good sleeper but finally realised lack of food and way too much drink gave me false sleep. As a recovering addict in drugs (eleven drug free years), I cant take sleeping tablet. What my GP will give me are anti-depressants with no sedative properties.
Eleven years ago, I took my car out at 4.00am,in my PJ's and crashed into a lampost at 70mph.I forgot to take my seatbelt off.The car was a wreck.I found out my daughter had being sexually abused by a 78 yr old neighbour.I could not handle it.Thankfully, I never felt like that since. My GP did give me AD's but nothing that sedate me or if I think life is getting too hard taking 28 days worth would not kill me. Looking back it was a selfish thing to do. My daughter needed me alive to help her.
Been anorexic for 36 years. Started at 15 and never fully went away. Rears its ugly head when I am struggling with other issues, predominantly alcohol.
My dad, 3 years ago got sick, ended up in ICU with pneumonia. I stayed while they switched off life support. Instead of dealing with grieving, I started drinking instead. 4 days sober now but I know I have to grieve the way many/most people do but it is painful and hurts.
