SimpleReal's Journal

It really hasn't been easy. There have been easy streaks and tough streaks. Overall though, it has taken conscious effort, with many tools, accountability and often planning and discretion.

The discretion comes into play when I decide with whom to spend time, and under what circumstances. Even the best discretion though, is not a super-armor against my inner triggers or unplanned circumstances. There are old associates that I still like, even love, but whom I have totally avoided. It has been hard enough dealing with weed still being in the house due to my spouse. She has smoked and drank for much of these 6 months, but has not smoked for the last month and has hardly been drinking. I am quite grateful that the weed is finally not in the house. Finally she agreed to throw away all the paraphernalia too. Regardless of whether or not her abatement is final, I know that the responsibility of sobriety is totally my own. But again, it helps being in a sober partnership. 

And the planning comes into play when it comes to keeping to a quite rigorous schedule that includes a daily meditation practice. Without it, there is no way that I would still be able to abstain from the weed. Sure enough, I still feel highs and lows, but the upkeep of a daily meditation practice (2 hours per day) adds much fuel to my intentions to live consciously and soberly.