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dairyqeen 
hi to me i am just going to really write a few notes today really lol i am just really on a high been watching my diet and sticking to it. all of this seem so indicative of the state of mind i am in there are so many awesome things going on insiide of my head that affects my health in think . my husband has been so attentive and is even starting to go back to church he seems so much at peace since my health has improved i cant even phantom all the other pscychodrama that used to envelope my life my grandson is lying next to me sleeping soundly he is such a bright spot in all of our lives, my older daugter is coming to take the younger ones to the zoo guess what i get a quiet house all to me and my husband who will get off work early its just so amazing to feel this good i just realized yesterday that i have lost 12pds already yipppeeee .. i am going to clean and continue to do some remodeling and actually some manual labor.. i realized today is my mother birthday she would have been 66 this year that seems so incredible my father also passed away early he was 53 years old he just had a birthday feb 25 even with all of these memories in my family i have determined that i would live to the fullest extent my parent spent their lives struggling just to make it they never traveled never took a vacation were both smokers my mom was sick most of my life she had numerous surgeries and had cancer but continue to smoke. my fatther saved money with giving no destination or purpose so upon his death he ended up being taken by a girlfriend so i have vowed to live and enjoy life to the fullest, i have vowed to love those while i have them here with me , i say what i mean and mean what i say, i apologized quickly to honor the scriptue if it be possible to be at peace with all men , i think that has taken so much stress off my life i cant tell you. To truly enjoy life we have to accept our station in life when we were little we had aspirations of doing great things we wanted to be inventors, painters, world travelers, lawyer, doctors, indian chief we just knew we wanted to leave our mark on earth before we left it but as life does it has it own plans some of us settle in middle of the mediocre we do ho hum jobs to earn a living and provide for our family and by mid 30;s we realize is this all there is to life we feel cheated because our dreams never materialized, and we go on an odyssey to find out where we lost ourselves hence many end up in mid life crisis an affair, the little red corvette, a move to another state only to find the fulfillment we desire is not found in any of these places did we sulk become depressed and just exist for a while and all of sudden something amazing happens and our 40's hit and so does acceptance that i am not so bad after all, i can do this thing called life i can enjoy the hand dealt to me , and i can help other to do the same but we have graduated from the court of public opinion, we no longer care what others think, feel or what their agenda;s are we only care that this is my life and i must live for how ever long i might have left on earth to the best of my abilities and enjoy as much happiness as i can possible must i did it again i ran long sorry if i deter anyone from reading because i am so long wristed lol but i think as when we are talking we realize that we just need to get it out and find after about three hours of talking we have exhausted everythhing in us .i am ging to say to all we have so much living to do and we must stop giving into negativity and doubt and fear that tries to control our lives and paralyze us from our God giving destiny. Our God has died so we can live so why dont we start living and do so to the fullest thanks to all and any who will read my journal love all with the love of Christ dairy
