I'm really beginining to feel like a failure
April 14, 2009 2:24am
I'm really beginning to feel like I'm a great disappointment to my boyfriend. I mean, he knows about the narcolepsy and what's going on …
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sleepypup
2:57pm, April 23, 2009
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About Me
sleepypup
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About Me
I'm 22 and was recently dignosed with Narcolepsy in December 2008. I've been trying to cope and life's been easier with the help of a supportive lover and family. I've been throwing myself into studying it and the more I read, the more I realize that this could've very well played a strong role in why I struggled as a teenager and why I failed at a lot of the things I tried. I beat myself up for years thinking that I wasn't good enough and I was just lazy and a dreamer. I've been on meds for narcolepsy and insomnia, but real results are too soon to tell.
I'm 22 and was recently dignosed with Narcolepsy in December 2008. I've been trying to cope and life's been easier with the help of a supportive lover and family. I've been throwing myself into studying it and the more I read, the more I realize that this could've very well played a strong role in why I struggled as a teenager and why I failed at a lot of the things I tried. I beat myself up for years thinking that I wasn't good enough and I was just lazy and a dreamer. I've been on meds for narcolepsy
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Interests
I have a goal to attend community college in the Spring to get my AA in Graphics Design and Media Arts (tv/movie special fx). I have my doubts, as do my boyfriend and mother. They fear that my newfound disorder may cause learning to be exceedingly difficult for me. Hence why I've begun on these pills as soon as possible. If I can keep to a regiment and find peace in this, I can get started on my life and getting to where I want to be... Mom always said I was never one for patience.
I have a goal to attend community college in the Spring to get my AA in Graphics Design and Media Arts
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Journal
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Journal Entry for April 9, 2009
April 9, 2009 3:42am
I got fired from my job in December, about 2 weeks before my dignosis, thankfully the insurance was still active. I made a bold choice to go up to …
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First night on Ambien
January 24, 2009 9:50am
Well, yesterday I started on 10mg Ambien when I told my Doctor that I couldn't really sleep, and taking stimulants in the morning alone …
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Hugbook
Good Luck
Good luck on the interviews Cheri
I’m With You
Trust me, you are not alone.
Gold Star
Working toward my degree is my single toughest goal to achieve. Don't give up, it's taken me 6 years so far and I still have more to go... it's never too late, and the effort will be so worth it. We can get through it :) Good luck!
I’m With You
you express yourself so well when you write...usually i can't read a post that long..but i felt your pain..and i KNOW your frustration. I have the same frustration as you..and it feels like it will never get better..but we will make it through..and we can do it together..stay with us...we won't make it any worse than it already is, right? It can't hurt. We DO UNDERSTAND.
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Ray of Sunshine
Here's a ray of sunshine for you
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Narcolepsy
I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy in December of 2008. They said it's probably a strong reason why I've had difficulties in High School and everything else I've ever really tried to do in my life since entering adolescence. I started on 200mg Provigil and recently started on generic Ambien for my insomnia. We'll see how this regiment goes in a couple weeks.
Treatments
- Provigil Working / Worked
- I take 1-200mg provigil in the morning with a latte and other otc vitamins, I've been having trouble sleeping at night, not sure if it's related yet.
Close Gay Men's Challenges
I've had my share of struggles with this relationship. My lover is near twice my age; me at 22, him having just turned 40. We both care about eachother very deeply, but soon into the relationship (possibly blamable on my narcolepsy, affecting bad judgment), I made an attempt at cheating on him. I didn't go through with it, but he found out about it, and not through me. I've been struggling with the guilt ever since and he's been spending an awful lot of time online looking at other men.
Open Body Modification
I've been considering the idea of restoring my foreskin. I'm not entirelu sure I want to do it, especially because I have no way of telling whether or not I'll like it. I've also read that it can be a bit uncomfortable to do the process, and there is the possibility that it will look kind of unnatural.
Treatments
- Research Somewhat Helpful
- Some people that did it are happier than theyve ever been but in most of their testimonials they all seemed a lot more desperate to have it back than I feel. The idea was first brought up by my boyfriend. He thinks uncircumsized penises are very sexy and would go crazy if I had one.
Open Psoriasis
Affected Areas: Psoriasis of the SkinI've had psoriasis since I can remember. I remember going to the doctor when I was young and him telling me that I had it. It first manifested as a scab on my scalp. I picked at it a lot. Since leaving my teenage years, I don't really get it so much...at least, not the open wound-types. Just more like excessive dandruff. However, I've also had a problem with my gentials for a long time, since prepubescence, where my scrotum and penis shaft would get very itchy too, but this has been undiagnosed.
Treatments
- Coal Tar Somewhat Helpful
- My mom made me use this when I was a kid, but after moving out on my own, it kinda lessened and I didn't think it necessary to buy anymore.
- Cyclosporine Not Working
- I think I was on this when I was really young, but I don't remember if this was it.
- Hydrocortisone Not Working
- I tried this for a bit as a topical anti-itch cream, but it never proved to be strong enough.
Open Insomnia
In December of 2008, I was diagnosed with narcolepsy as well as insomnia. Just recently, I'd been prescribed 10mg of generic Ambien to take immediately preceeding bedtime. I've yet to see if the results are desirable.
Treatments
- Ambien Not Working
- I take a 10mg zolpidem tartrate and I can feel the pill affecting my brain (i.e.: getting up and moving, I feel drunk; I'm extremely tired) but I can't sleep. My desire for my brain to continue functioning and my eyes wanting to be open wins.
Open Circumcision
I was circumsized at birth and upon meeting my lover who is uncut, I feel a strong desire to restsore my foreskin. I'm just feeling superficial about it. I want a guarantee that my foreskin will look natural and sexually appealing afterwards. I'd really like to find before and after pictures to see how other people's have turned out.
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Groups
