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karen124 
7:20pm, June 9, 2009
Ok so I finally have come to a point in my life where I have finally realised I need to talk to somone or some people about the issues I go through. I need to know I am not the only one with these issues. I also feel it can be therapeutic for me also if I can give advice and raise someone else's spirits.
I feel sometimes like the whole world is on my shoulders. There are times that I am just questioning God which I know I shouldnt (dont mean to get religious for those who arent religious but I am a little religious and this is my journal so) question him but he sure can throw me some curve balls. I wonder why it is that I have to go through everything I have gone through. If your reading this and youve seen the support groups I have joined, you will notice there are quite a few of them. Each one of them has a purpose to me and I really hope this site helps me cope because its starting to be over bearing. WHo am i kidding, it has always been over bearing.
My family doesnt really see the stress I have or the emotional problems I have because I hide it so well. I put on that smile and great attitude because I feel selfish if I start talking about my problems because I so know that there are people out there that have bigger problems then me. But I cant do it anymore. Ive done it for years and the passed year has really tested me and Im breaking. There I have officially said it. Im starting to break. I know I should have started seeing a therapist a long time ago, back when I was a teenager, but I brushed it aside. I can only say that Im tired of being sad, Im tired of taking things out on the loved ones that do nothing wrong to deserve my rants. I want to be happy more then what I am. That was very hard for me to say because I have problems admitting it, but hey you have to start somewhere, right?
Comments
I know im younger and stuff but dont feel bad for telling someone how you feel and dont feel selfish. Thats what boyfriends are there for and your family. If you have brothers or sisters its okay to tell them how you feel. I had that connection with my sister. Shes 27 and talks to me about everything thats bothering her and i dont see her as being a pain in the ass, im happy she confides in me. and therapy does help, if you have insurance it should cover it. Im starting to go see one, i did in the past but then stopped but it really does help. you deserve to be happy!
NikkixO
Came across your entry.I guess that was back in Jan.So have things been changing for you since you joined ds? I started ds march 2 and I think I have been here everyday since.I'm learning to love myself I don't know why thats so hard to do.I do know it makes all the difference in my life when I come from that position.I don't know if this will help but it's always nice to know your not alone.
trixey