Journal Entry for April 6, 2008
April 6, 2008 6:09pm
4/6/8
Hello, all... I know it's been ages since I had anythig to say, and since I dont have a computer at home yet, I started writing in …
snowpea
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About Me
snowpea
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About Me
Proud parent of two girls. I'm currently on disability due to my many problems. Love to listen to music, write poetry, journal. Not sure what I enjoy with company cause whenever I try to have fun it ends up a disaster.
Proud parent of two girls. I'm currently on disability due to my many problems. Love to listen to music, write poetry, journal. Not sure what I enjoy with company cause whenever I try to have fun it ends up a disaster.
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Interests
Finding people who understand me out there cause in here I feel lost and alone. I love to help others, and hope to make some new friends.
Finding people who understand me out there cause in here I feel lost and alone. I love to help others,
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Recent Activity
- Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
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Journal
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Journal Entry for February 25, 2008
February 25, 2008 12:52pm
2/28/8
Hey I'm still alive, but barely holding on. The past few months have v\been so hard on me. between losing the job, the room …
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Journal Entry for January 6, 2008
January 6, 2008 8:49pm
1/6/08
My body wants to be with you
My brain wants to be connected to you
And my heart wants to belong to you...
These are the words I long …
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Journal Entry for December 29, 2007
December 29, 2007 1:57pm
12/29/07
I just wanted everyone to know I lost my job. Not that I wasnt plannig on finding a new one but I lost mine for a very unfair …
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Journal Entry for December 24, 2007
December 24, 2007 8:08pm
12/24/07
Hey all!! Merry Christmas!
As some of you know I no longer have a computer, so it will be harder for me to respond to any messages or huggs, …
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Hugbook
Hug
Berwyn huh, i grew up in Cicero, a few years before you though, i see you haven't been on in a long time but if you do come back and want someone to talk to i'm always around don't be shy ttyl
Little Love
oh my god i havent been on it such a long time, i miss you alot. remember me?
Hug
Hey Girl! Still have the pics you sent and think of you often. Hope you get to a computer soon so I can hear from you. Take care...love ya!
Hug
I'm here, are you still, I sure could us a hug!
Hug
hi snowpea, you need to do a lot of talking to get closure. there was a reason you didn;t get to see your grandma at that point. it was G-d's plan. i promise you there was a reason. and your grandma is very close to your right now, as it seems you had a very close relationship with her. it sounds like there is more you need to resolve, than only what appears the current issue. it sounds like you need to resolve some issues with your mom maybe? why dont you know where your grandma is burried? you WILL get closure, you will resolve issues, and work through things, and you will come to peace with everything. how long has it been since your grandma's passing? it will be a process for you. write whenever you need, luv jan
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Relative---This May will be the 3rd year since my grandma passed. I have a small family, and she was my all time favorite. When I battled wit health issues as a child she came to live with us and took care of me. She taught me everything a little girl would want to know, how to braid, have tea parties, cook ect. She became ill and moved from Peoria to La Grange Pk by us and eventually into a nursing home. When she was dieing I was in the hospital after attempting suicide. I couldn't go to her funeral.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- ---I still feel so numb to the experience like she's not really gone. When I cry it never feels like enough, I hurt so much and wish I was with her.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- haven't really gotten that far into this subject.
Close Depression
Treatments
- Effexor Not Working
- caused horrivle nightmares!!!
- Lexapro Too Soon to Tell
- just got back on but i think it helped in the past.
- Prozac Not Working
- made me feel worse, and killed my sex drive. My boyfriend couldn't hold my hand with out me feeling disgusted.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
Open Self-Injury
---I started to carve pictures or names of boyfriends in myself in grade school not knowing it was wrong. I was fine for many years. when I hit around 20 I started to cut my wrist whenever I felt like shit. Not in a way to do myself in, just to bleed. It was my way of crying if I couldn't shed tears. Pretty soon I got to a point where I couldn't go a day without cutting, I've lost some of the best jobs I ever had cause of it. It's just that addictive!
Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Type: Trichotillomania----I remember starting to pull my eyelashes at the age of 10. Nothing caused it to my knowledge, it was during a family vacation to Disney World. For years it was just my eyelashes, and for a while when I was older my pubic area. I was confused as to what possessed me to do this. I learned to live with it. It got worse. Now I pull non stop, and need to keep my hair in a pony tail due to how much is missing. I thought it was bad when I hid my problem to the world, but. . .
Open Anger Management
I always wake up on the wrong side of the bed!! I get to the point where I clench my teeth together when I talk. I dream about beating the life out of something just so someone ANYONE can feel my pain. It seems like everything channels my anger, and as hard as I try I just can't change. Life always slaps me in the face.
Treatments
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- I hated this form of theropy. It seemed so one minded and I need options.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
What haven't I been through... My name is Lauren, I'm 26 and a single mom. I've been through emotional abuse, hard mental abuse, physical, and sexual. I also have the same reoccurring dream about my dad almost once a month even though I have no clue if he ever did anything to me.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- not sure about this one because I find it very hard to open up to people. My trust levels are low and my defenses are up.
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)got diagnosed when I was a teenager. No one bothered to tell me what this even ment, I spent several years wondering what was wrong with me.
Open Parenting Toddlers (1-3)
My youngest daughter just turned 2 today 6/26/07, and she is a pistel! She can be so loving and sweet and turn around and be the queen of tantrums. This is ALL new to me cause my oldest was not one to pitch fits. I feel often helpless and defeted, I no longer want to feel alone.
Treatments
- Child Time-out Working / Worked
- She is still so young and doesn't understand the concept of sitting still for a time frame so I don't know who this will work.
