Hi, I'm just another girl with a big list of disordered eating patterns. I guess you could say I've experienced them all. My attitude towards food really changes on a day to day basis. For a while I was doing a lot better and eating healthily at maintenance level calories. I realized my metabolism is suffering and just want to eat like a normal person again, not obsess every minute of the day, and not push away friends and family. My obsession with food makes me so selfish. Despite the progress I made trying to self-heal, finals rolled around and I guess the stress of it all pushed me back into my old patterns. I really wish I believed in something, like a higher power, to give me strength to get me through this mess. I wish I let more people into my life; but I feel like I would be wasting their time. Never in my life have I fully opened up to anyone, even my closest friends. I guess that's why I am here.
Hi, I'm just another girl with a big list of disordered eating patterns. I guess you could say I've experienced them all. My attitude towards food really changes on a day to day basis. For a while I was doing a lot better and eating healthily at maintenance level calories. I realized my metabolism is suffering and just want to eat like a normal person again, not obsess every minute of the day, and not push away friends and family. My obsession with food makes me so selfish. Despite the progress I
Some interests and hobbies include: Making jewelry, reading, rollerblading, obscure humor, researching random things for hours on the internet, being successful in college, creative writing, nutrition, hanging out with my family, scavenging for awesome clothes on a college budget, looking for new recipes, etc. etc.
Some interests and hobbies include: Making jewelry, reading, rollerblading, obscure humor, researching
October 23, 2009 8:17pm
I am having trouble getting up the four flights of stairs to my apartment every day after classes without having heart palpitations.
I …
June 29, 2009 12:15am
Golly, everybody. I believe I've found the key to my happiness. Eat less than 700 calories and I will have a spectacular day. …
June 23, 2009 2:05am
As I was barreling away on the treadmill for the second time today, I was trying to think of reasons why I really want to keep life chugging …
June 16, 2009 11:45pm
I was doing some research a while back and read a lot of reports of women becoming wildly depressed or extremely prone to moodswings on Yaz (the pill …
June 2, 2009 7:32pm
Well, I haven't logged on here in a while. I find something that could be good for me so naturally I shove it away!
Anyway, my family pulled …
i'm here if you ever need to talk.
Howdy stranger!!! p0lly, have I ever asked you if you have been diagnosed with PTSD previously? Sexual abuse of and PTSD usually go hand in hand, I am sure you know this already.
I believe that your eating disorder is all to do with your past abuse, and is systomatic of past sexual abuse of you. You do not like what you became, and choose to change your body image in whatever way possible so as not to recognise what you indeed became, PTSD if you ask me.
You can do this Polly...we're all here for you. I know in my darkest hours these past few months where I actually considered off'ing myself because the pain was so bad for so long, it was all of you here that kept me going. Please allow us to give you that same gift back. If you need any of us, just email. Blessings, Shantiann
May I suggest the group called Multi Med Problems set up by grammybebest. I cannot relate to you pain and how they feel. But this site was set up when you can post your journals and talk to others suffering from terrible pain and how they try to handle it.
Roger the Minister = verse
Psalms:27:1: The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
So AMBIEN really works!!! LMAO.
I guess I go through little phases of different disorders. Primarily I restrict but with a lot of EDNOS behaviors. My weight has been up and down, from "healthy" to "unhealthy" and back...I wish I did not let the obsession control my life, but no matter how hard I try it always comes back. When things are really bad I typically avoid all people and just dwell on my flaws...all day.
My family is full of downers going back generations. When I was younger my mum used to say she was glad that I was "happy" like her. This broke my heart so I had to hide my depression for a very long time...
I am terrified of people looking at me half the time. I go through phases of extreme isolation. It makes me pretty bitter and I've picked up a pretty dry, sarcastic humor that a lot of people compliment when I am not hiding. I wish I could always be this person and I wish I knew what causes me to isolate myself. I have a couple of close friends but their lives have changed drastically so it's harder to relate, though they are always there.
Been vegetarian 3+ years. I tend to lean toward veganism as well but when I was officially "vegan" it seemed to exacerbate my ED...something I do not want.
Haven't had very meaningful sexual experiences. I have trouble with intimacy and giving people a chance. Even in long term relationships I just...didn't care.
