susanwales's Journal

Today I return to California. It will be good to go home to see my husband and resume my life; however I can only describe my feelings of leaving Mother, as the way I felt when I left my daughter on the first day of school. Such a heart-wrenching time for a mother to leave her little one at school for the first time . . . a rite of passage for a mother and their child. You detect a little fear in your child's eyes, and a bit of hesitation as they look back at you and wave, and your stomach churns! 

This feeling reminds of my mother, who is such a compassionate person. Recently, my class celebrated a class reunion, and everyone shared a story about one of their favorite memories of school. The president of our class, also a star athlete, and the valedictorian, Clayton, shared a story about my mother. Clayton and I had grown up in the same community outside the city and were somewhat isolated. Since Clayton and I were the same age and there were no other kids our age, we had become "best" friends, even though he was a boy, and I was a girl. Unheard of for that age! The summer before school began, my parents moved into the city so we could live closer to school, but my friend Clayton's family remained in our old neighborhood.

In those days your mother was able to walk you into the classroom on the first day of school. Clayton had already arrived, and Mother spotted him over in the corner sobbing with our first grade teacher standing over him screaming at him. Our teacher was in her 70's and very short on patience and understanding. This same teacher was one of the best educators and instilled a passionate love in all of her students for reading, but she was a terror whenever you misbehaved.

Mother could not bear to see this teacher chastising Clayton and calling him a cry baby, so she scooped him up in her arms and said to the teacher, "I"m taking him home, and I'll bring him back after lunch." With that Mother, turned and walked out the door with Clayton in her arms." Mother was only 27 at the time, so I don't know how she had the courage to stand up to this teacher. 

Mother telephoned Clayton's mother and explained. Clayton spent a few hours with Mother and just as she promised the teacher, she brought him to school right after lunch. He was smiling and held his head high. Clayton also remembered the delicious lunch and the banana split that Mother made him. The following day Clayton came to school with his head high, and he never cried again. He was always the #1 student in our class. I don't know what Mother said to him, but he credited my mother with giving him a love for school and a determination to succeed. Mother's method was a little unorthodox and not what most educators would recommend, but it worked. I think Clayton just needed a little understanding that day, and Mother's rescue from the difficult day and the terrifying teacher worked.

I suppose I feel the same way today as I prepare to say goodbye to my Mother. I would like to rescue Mother from these next nine chemo treatments. I would like to stay in Atlanta, and go into the chemo lab tomorrow, but sadly, I know she must endure nine more treatments, because the doctors believe this is best for her. I feel so badly I cannot be in Atlanta any longer to sit with her and take care of her during each treatment. So for today, my last day with her, I'll make her a banana split, and I'll give her a "pep" talk just as she did with Clayton a few years ago that may have helped in some small way for him to become the outstanding man he is today and with such a tender heart that he would share this story as his favorite school memory.

Yes, I will miss my mother terribly, but I know she's doing what she has to do to defeat OVCA. As my friend, Gloria Gaynor, sings, "I will survive," and so will Mother!  And God will provide the strength for us all to get through these challenging times. 

ANXIOUS HEARTS ARE VERY HEAVY, BUT A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT DOES WONDERS! PROVERBS 12:25