susanwales's Journal

Above is my Mother's 80th birthday party two years ago with her friends. She is second from the right.

 No one wants cancer to afflict there family, but when it does, look for the gifts of it, and unwrap the presents you are given throughout the journey. 

1) Distraction for Mother from her overwhelming grief in the loss of my father. No longer was she was able to dwell on his death, but she had to fight for her life.

2) Gave Mother an appreciation for the simple things of life from driving her car to attending church, to working in the yard.

3) Drew our family closer together as we rallied around our mother to provide support and assistance in her battle against cancer. Never before have I realized how important family is, especially in times of illness. When I poured my heart out to my family physician who is also my friend, she smiled, and said, "Susan, your mother is so blessed. Do you realize how many times I have to tell a patient they have cancer, and I ask if there is there is anyone I can call, and their family members are so self absorbed in their own lives, they do not even return my phone call?" This comment was chilling to me.I want to work harder to strengthen my relationships with my family members, even though we do not always agree on things, it is still important to work through things, because without family you are so alone! 

4) A new appreciation and a fresh perspective on our good health. We have never had cancer or any serious illnesses in our family and we have take health for granted. All our relatives lived long lives and died in their 80's or 90's. We never really realized what others who had problems with illnesses went through.

5) Growing up at last! Even in my 50's I have still played the role of the daughter. When I visited my parents they would insist of taking care of me in every way. I was still the little girl. Now the roles have reversed and I am taking care of my mother. This has been difficult for her to accept, and we have had a battle of the elbows in the kitchen and throughout the house. She never wanted us to help her, but now she has no choice. Although I must admit she still tries desperately! 

6) United our town. My father died so tragically that our entire town rallied around my mother, especially after she became ill. It sort of pulled them together as a community as they prayed for my mother. They met on Wednesday nights and prayed for her, and even started an email prayer request to share her needs. Seeing all the miracles, they have started a prayer ministry for the sick in our town, and they are loving it! So my mother's cancer has brought my hometown together in a very special way, and the prayers they have prayed for my mother and others is bringing about so many miracles! It is exciting.  

7) Obtaining the grace for dying. Through the cancer, not knowing how things would turn out, my mother has been blessed with an abundance of grace for dying. Our family has been able to discuss death as a normal part of life. Most people fear death but Mother accepts it stoically, and has passed this onto her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. When I took my granddaughter with me to care for her this past trip, Mother told my granddaughter "Please do not be be sad when Mimi dies." She explained to her that Mimi had lived a long and happy life and she was ready to go to heaven! Hailey looked at me and said, "You remember that Gaga, when Mimi dies and don't cry so much like you did when Papa (my father) died." So precious! 

8) Experiencing the power of prayer. We have seen so many answers to prayer throughout my mother's cancer journey, and have seen God in all the details each step of the way. It has been exciting and has strengthened our faith.

9) New friends! How precious are Mother's fellow sufferers! We have been so blessed by the women on this Daily Strength site and the women in the chemo lab have lent such support as well as vital answer to questions that have given us peace and relief plus the much needed knowledge. This is a very special community that has truly touched our lives.

10) A better understanding of cancer.  Cancer was a thought or word I had taken great strides to avoid throughout my life. But now I know that it is not necessarily a death sentence. There are great things happening in cancer treatments and in the research. 

11) Learning the importance of checkups and healthcare. Being face-to-face with cancer has motivated my family members and me to get check-ups, tests and other exams that I used to procrastinate setting up. Knowing the importance of finding the disease early has turned me into an advocate of  timely and thorough medical care. I have been poked, prodded, and stuck dozens of times in 2009!

12) The importance of nutrition and a healthy lifestyle. With such good genes and family history of excellent health, I was never attentive to my diet and exercise as I am now.  Now I am wisely choosing my foods, and making sure I get the proper exercise. 

13) I am reevaluating my life. When you have a family who is facing a serious illness, you immediately considering how precious life is and you consider your own mortality. Suddenly, I am conscious that I am older, and I only have so many years left, so I want to make those years count. I want to get closer to meeting my goals.

14) Strengthened our faith in our God.  God has been in every detail of my mother's cancer. He has ordered our steps, and miraculously opened and shut doors to point us in the right direction for her treatment. But the greatest gift of God has been the peace . . .  the peace that passes all understanding that he given us, especially my mother. After a devastating few days and sleepless nights, we suddenly felt enfolded by his loving arms, and just rested in the peace that he had everything in his hands. 

XOX