susanwales's Journal

Saying goodbye to Mother on Tuesday was so sad for me, especially she is so weak and frail. I felt as though I was leaving a big piece of my heart back in Georgia. It was truly great to return home though! Fortunately, my daily phone calls with Mother keep me connected. 

Then I had one day at home with my granddaughter, Hailey, and then I had to take her to her dad's house. That was heart-wrenching for me, but not for her. She was absolutely thrilled to see her dad. It is so hard on children to live without their mom or dad on a daily basis. My little granddaughter was so thrilled to be with her dad, at last. She was sitting on his lap, and he stood up to tell us goodbye, and she looked up at him and said, "Daddy, please sit back down. Little girls are supposed to sit on their daddy's lap, and how can I sit on your lap if you're standing up?" It truly broke my heart. Yikes another hole in my heart!

I just pray all goes well with Hailey's visit with her dad and his family. When we arrived, he didn't come to the door or answer his phone for a long time, and it appeared that he wasn't at home, and these big tears gathered in the corner of my granddaughter's eyes. Her dad and his wife have a 9 month old baby, so they had taken a nap when they put the baby down and had overslept. Since we were unaware of this, I kept telling Hailey we had to leave, but she insisted on staying saying, "I know he is here. I know my daddy would not leave when he knew I was coming." Finally, she heard a noise, and her entire face lit up. She said, "They're here! I can hear them moving around inside. Wait!" Her joy at seeing her dad was so incredibly heartwarming, but it was heartbreaking too . . . if that makes sense. Knowing how important he is to her, and how seldom she gets to see him!

Mothers, children, and grandchildren . . . I'm just at a tough stage in life, where I am suddenly thrust in the role of the caretaker. And I am exhausted physically, but more so emotionally. However, I find so much peace in prayer. Just knowing I can pour my heart out to God, and he will hear my prayers and answer them is a great blessing. He may not answer them in the way I deem correctly, but I trust that he has our lives in his hands and is working things out for the good. Now this is the peace that passes all understanding! But one thing is for sure . . . life is not fair. I am sure may of you who are struggling with your illness today can agree, but the great thing about living is that we can still find joy in any of our circumstances. 

May each of you be blessed with great joy today, whatever your circumstances may be!

Blessings!

XOX