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nicoleacola32 
6:59pm, September 3, 2009
Abusers are notorious for shifting blame for their misconduct onto their target. Abusers are all about power, control, and covering their butts. Their agenda is tomake you submit to their will, and ensure you take the fall if and when you don't. No matter what they say and do, no matter the harm it causes you, abusers expect yourcompliance each and every time. If you don't give this, they will declare it's your faultthey act as they do; that they have no choice. Examples of blame shifting:
1) BAD ATTITUDE: Once you realize you have been or are being mistreated you may, understandably, become righteously angry. If the abuser views your reaction to their abuse as bold, outspoken, defiant, rebellious, caustic, et al, they will declare that your bad attitude is the reason for it! I.e., "You deserved everything that happened to you because you're completely insubordinate!"
2) ANGRY/DANGEROUS: Abusers are expert at pushing other people's buttons. They will hone in on any "weak" spots you have and keep poking at these in the hopes you "lose it." The "silent treatment" is an effective maneuver on most persons. Another example: do you dislike racial slurs? An abuser will be certain to utter them whenever possible! If you lose it, they'll claim that you:
a) Are emotionally unstable
b) Moody
c) Have a temper
d) Are dangerous
e) They're "abusive" as a means of protecting themselves from you
3) MENTALLY ILL. Abusers can (try to) make you doubt your mental faculties. They will tell you things like, "That never happened," "That's not what I said," "You're imagining things," "You had a hallucination," "You're confused," "You've got a bad memory," ad nauseam. This approach can make you distrust your perception of reality and/or even drive you to a breakdown! Then the abuser will insist you:
a) Need help for your issues; that you require counseling, a psychiatrist, and/or to be medicated (any of which can be used to shut you up if the abuser is involved!)
b) Are disturbed
c) Have a disorder
d) Have episodes of psychosis
e) Are certifiable
f) Should be put away (i.e., in a mental institution)
Most succinctly, the abuser will attempt to convince everyone that any and all injury (victimization) inflicted on you is your own dang fault because you have a bad attitude, temper, are dangerous, and/or mentally ill - leaving them "innocent"!
Who is the abuser? Everyone involved in this ordeal who has victimized me!
Comments
This is so good that I have copied it and saved it.
Big, Big Hugs to You!
SFWriter
This is excellent! Where did you find it?
SahKonteic
Thanks for sharing:)
MSNOW
sounds like my ex!
markiz
You've just described my mother.
DeniseLeigh