I have my first MSc exam in two days, I should be revising, I should be laying down with books around me, I should not be on the computer or have the TV blaring in the background. But, the feeling at the moment is, "I do not care....". I should because I paid for this course myself, since completion of my first degree I hungrily wanted to go for my MSc - with big dream to do a PHD, I wanted to expand my mind - to speak like a lecture with all their quirkiness and hidden meanings. Since commencing the programme three months ago though, I just don't care. I have no motivation for doing it anymore. Funnily, it's not even because it is difficult, at first, I thought that that was the reason. Yes, it took me a little longer to grasp what was going on, but now I get it and when I can identify the relationships, the link, the concepts, I can fly. But, I just don't want to do anything even if I feel like the world and everyone is flying past me. I don't like sitting by the sideline and watching, but, my energy is just too low to bother.
Where I really want to be now is sitting with my partner - but she's over there and I'm sitting here...!!!!





