Journal

 Yesssss have my boy back to his normal happy laughing self again-happy wednesday.

 He loved going out for his stroll round the block this evening,-torch in hand quick pit stop for his crisps and coke laughing his head off in the shop and other people laughing with him.  He has a great innocence about him still, very childlike and moustache in the making as he is fifteen, getting on a bit.  To think I was quite close to giving up and having thoughts that I would not be able to cope with him for much longer due to his strength and frustration which luckily is a rare occurrence but quite intense and emotionally and physically draining at the time.   Still I suppose at least I have time to recover myself before the next outburst in a months or so time.  Mmmmmm something to look forward to, im a realist and yess i know will happen im off down the gym build my muscles up.

  Had a visit a few days ago from the health and safety environment officer.  My neighbours had a bright idea of calling them due to my son banging on the walls, which personally I found to be a bit - well lets just say not very neighbourly without having a chat with me first about the problem they were having.  He was banging for a good week and a half, but even so was not constant-People sometimes.  Anyway had the visit from the officer whilst he was at school and from that day on he has completely stopped banging his hands on the walls.

There was not a trigger for the handbanging and if I asked-told him to stop, trying to keep my voice in a nice calm, even manner and then just told him with my 'look' he would just get worse, and attack me with it, biting, pinching, so I tried to ignore up to a point, anyway he has worked through whatever the problem was and having two days respite helped a great deal, maybe taking him out of the situation, changing the format etc,  and lets just say I will not be speaking to my neighbours anytime soonand it's great to have my son back again.  Although I wish I did know the trigger of where things went wrong then maybe I would be able to correct the situation-but him having no speech and a severe lack of communication except for eye pointing and showing it's a difficult situation-but alls well that ends well.

 Feel a bit sad this morning and tearful, not too sure how much longer I can cope with my son.

 He has been getting extremely frustrated similar to an animal.  Going for me really trying to bite me, scratching, couple of more holes in the walls and being fifteen he is very strong. (much stronger than me im only little smiles Michelle)  I have no idea what the trigger could be either.  I dont feel that this behaviour warrants putting him on medication as the behaviour is only 20 percent of the time at the moment and the rest of the time he is  a very happy and loving young man.  Seems to be either frustrated or loving no inbetween. He is 15yrs and has fragilexsyndrome severe.  Being totally on my own doesnt help either where I have no one I can call on to maybe restrain him.  All I have been told to do is to call the police but really by the time they arrive he would have calmed down, so seems a bit pointless.  Still- have two days respite from him and maybe things will look brighter when he comes home.  Feel a bit run down and off for a good cry but sure I will pick myself back up again in no time-as I do-as I like a challenge, and his behaviour is damn challenging right now.