Journal

I know there are a lot of people that do not believe that Angels walk among us, but I for one am not one of those people.  God and his Angels are who keep me going each and every day of my life.  I would have no breath in my body were in not for God himself and I honestly believe he sends Angels to earth to watch over his children.  That is the only way I can explain how I stayed calm and in control during the time of crisis when my father committed suicide in front of me and how afterwards when I wanted to crumble and die,  God himself was with me and he left his Angels with me around the clock until I was able to stand on my feet and be strong again.  Although I now after all these years suffer from PTSD which is one of the factors that caused my disability, had it not been for God and the Angels, I would not be here today, 19 years after my father's death.   Anyway, I always said that one particular Angel in my life was my Maine Coon, Bear (1st photo below).  He was 19 when he passed in 2004.  We had 16 glorious years together and he got me through more pain and sorrow than any human could ever have done.  No amount of money paid to a therapist could have done what he did for me.  If only he were with me today.  I talk to his picture, I take out his clipping of hair from its marble container and hold it, smell, touch it against my face and I can draw strength from that somedays because I can see him when I close my eyes and hear him purring.  I can see the way he use to look at me with those beautiful angelic eyes as if telling me everything was going to be alright and 98% of the time, it was alright.  I look at his Urn and remember the beautiful, soft paws that use to snuggle up to me when we would settle down for the night after a hard day at work or when it was bed time and he would jump on the bed and burrow in my long hair and fall asleep...I held him as he took his last breath and when he did, a part of me went with him.  I have grieved and the pain has been so intense.  Then out of the blue, one of our rescues was this precious little handicapped cat that I named Parisa (meaning Angel and the

2nd photo below ) because she is just that.  I think she was a gift from Bear to help ease my grief and she has done wonders.  She sticks to me like glue and on my worst days, she is right there on the bed beside me, ready to offer her clubbed paw to me if I need it and if she thinks I really need support, she'll just get up and lay on my face!!!!!  However; I don't need THAT much support.   She reminds me of an Angel trying to earn her wings sometimes with the little antics she does such as that.  Trying to be extremely loving and supportive, but literally smothers her "subject" in the process!  LOL    Now, along came a Siberian Husky Pup Sat. Feb. 28th out of no where.  She just appeared on our driveway...My husband saw it, my son saw it and I saw it...Okay, we're talking chills down the spine, here.  Plus, it's ironic because the Husky is my son's school Mascot (just a cute FYI there).  We'll we knew with 18 cats, 5 Parakeets, 21 Hermit Crabs and a divorce on the way, we couldn't take on anything else.  My son and I will be planning to move out of state as soon as school is over and my disability backpay gets here.  I've been fretting over this because I didn't know how I was going to make ends meet on my disability alone.  I have always worked until my health got bad 4 years ago and it's taken 3 of those to finally get my disability payments started (first one was this month!).  I know between my disability money and my son's (that he gets on my behalf) we could probably do it, but his money can only be used for certain things and I have to do a regular accounting to account for every penny spent of his money, etc....and if I screw his up, I have to pay it all back...I've just been so torn up, but I knew we had to get out of this marriage, out of this City and out of this State.  Well, back to the Husky that we have now named Sasha (3rd photo below).  We cannot find her owners so as of right now, we are her owners.  She has brought such joy to our lives it is amazing.  She LOVES long walks, long cars rides (I take her on those and turn my music on and sing and she howls!!!), she loves to come upstairs and try to find a cat that will play with her, she loves all of her chew toys that we bought her, she loves her belly rubbed, she LOVES to go to the bus stop and watch the kids get off the bus and of course each one pets her and then she sees him...MY PRECIOUS SON...She spins in circles and barks and whines...She LOVES my little boy.  In such a short time, she has brought the three of us closer than we have been in quite some time so I ask you, do you believe in Angels?  Are Angels really among us?  Do Angels really come in all forms?  Could Sasha be an Angel and have been sent to save my marriage?   Is that even possible?