indigomoon's Journal

I believe everyone should have a purpose in life. I try and make every day count, adding value in everything I do and say. Is it expecting too much for others to have the same mission? I would consider myself an Alchemist which makes life fun and exciting. An alchemist is inventive, curious, adding value in my everyday life by mixing two or three ideas and coming up with a totally new way of doing things.

Someone close to me once told me, my thought processes are hardwired differently than another persons'. Hmm, what did that mean, should I be offended? Nah, Being different in mind, body and soul makes me who I am, Adrienne. Being hardwired differently means I come up with the same deductions and conclusions the average person would, but in less time. I call it unique. What does that have to do with adding value? I love to make people think, simplicity has never been my strong suit. I step over the obvious and come up with someting much more intriguing, much more thought provoking. So alas, I've added value to someone's life by changing someone's way of thinking. It's the challenge of changing my circle, my world into something much more interesting.

Then there's love...Do you add value by loving a person, or is the value tainted by loving selfishly (ie. I'm going to love you whether you love me back or not)? I don't do love very well. In fact I suck at it. I can't imagine that me loving someone would actually add value to that victims' life. The ironic thing about it is that it makes me just that much more lovable. I can't stop people from loving me, being in love with me, even liking me, but I can tell you this, the challenge figuring me out is so innately human. People that love expect to be loved back. I fall so short of the task.

I always wonder if I've ever even been "IN LOVE"... they say when you have to guess, then it isn't so. I say if you can walk away and not look back, then maybe not. Told you, I suck at it.