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BabsyK 
11:08am, July 5, 2009
Angry, Lonely, Silent & Confused
Angry that I'm in the situation I'm in.
Angry that I can't seem to feel better.
Angry that I feel so alone.
Angry that I don't understand.
Angry that there's no one here for me to cry to.
Angry that I don't know what to do.
Angry that I can't seem to make myself do anything.
Angry that I don't feel my kids understand.
Lonely because theres no one here to physically cry to.
Lonely because my kids are not here.
Lonely because theres no one to hold me and tell me everything will be okay.
Lonely because theres no one to take care of me.
Lonely because I feel I have no life.
Lonely because I'm afraid to let anyone get to close.
Lonely because she's gone
Silent because theres no one here to physically listen.
Silent because I'm afraid to scream.
Silent because what good will screaming, yelling and crying do.
Silent because I'm afraid once I start to let go I wont be able to stop.
Silent for fear of my feelings.
Silent because I don't know what to say
Confused because I'm not going through what I went through when my father died.
Is it because she prepared me for her dealth?
Is it because theres no one here to pick up the pieces?
Is it because of the anti-depressents?
Is it because she was ready?
Is it acceptence that she's gone?
Is it because she's not here?
Is it because she can't hold me
and tell me everything is going to be alright,
like what mothers are suppose to do?
What is it?
