Journal

This isn't where I expected to be in my life at this age. What life? My life consists of work and taking care of the house. I miss my kids. I don't know how to move on from raising them, leaving me anxious and depressed. Now mom has passed and I don't have her to care for. Leaving me all alone. Sometimes I don't mind because i'm so tired. Thats another thing I'm tired of being tired all the time. Now I'm going to be starting a second job in order to make ends meet. So I'll be working a total of 60 hours a week. I don't know if I have enough energy. What really sucks(excuse the expression) is the extra money I will be getting will be going towards bills. It would be nice if it was just extra I could save or spend on whatever.

I feel bad for my animals. They will be home alone for 13 hours some days. though I will come home between jobs and feed them and take them out. The weather is going to be getting nice soon and most nights I wont be able to take them out for their nightly walks.

ugh.

On top of all that I'm in the process of finishing up my degree in preschool adminstration.

I wish I was one of those energenic people. I know a lot about the way you feel has to do with your way of thinking, and I'm thinking I'm going to have to change my way of thinking to make this all work. Unfortunately all I can think about right now is how tired I am, and am I going to be able to handle everything with out crashing, physically and emotionally.

need hugs and support. This was when mom would tell me "you can do it", we all do what we have to do to survive. Right now I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be ok.