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Melinn
Female
"No private messages or chats, please."
3:21am, January 5, 2009
Life is Fragile Mood
Sunday, July 5, 2009
I wrote the same title on another site, after my mom had a stroke.  Now with the recent death of Michael Jackson, I began to think about the direction of my life.  I dread waking up sometimes.  I struggle with the kids.  I don't have anything to really look forward to.  My husband is distant. I have pains I can't fix. I work a night job that is stressful on my body.  My paid job takes away my weekends, so I can't celebrate holidays and family times with full awareness and energy.  I want my kids to have a happy childhood, filled with loving thoughts of their mom.  I don't want to fail them.  I debate whether to work more to earn more money, be more financially comfortable or work less to have more actual time at home.  Either way, I feel I will regret what I didn't choose.  I don't want to be a martyr.  I don't want to be depressed.  I don't want my husband to suffer with me.  Even if I devote all my energy on the kids, I will be left with nothing after about 14 years.  There has to be a better way to fulfill myself and others in a perfect balance.

UPDATED GOALS

Develop healthy habits

Progress 85%

Encouragements: 0

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Comments

  1. pointofthought

    Here's something I learned from the movie Bridge to Terabithia: "Nothing Crushes Us"

    Follow that, and you'll see yourself seeing things as something that can be conquered.


    pointofthought

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