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ladybama 
3:30pm, January 11, 2009
Today is another bad day physically. I was taken off the Sutent after my checkup yesterday. My blood pressure is extremely high and for somene who has notoriously low blood pressure this is quite scary. The last few days have been the worst and I am torn between starting the meds back at a lower dose or just not taking them at all. Some days I want to fight this with every "gun in my arsenal" and other days I just want to forget everything and have some quality of life. This is my pity party day.
Comments
Good morning Lisa,
i am so sorry to hear what the Sutent is doing and your BP going so high, thats one of the hard side effects of Sutent and i think all of them are close to the same side effects..I want you to know i do understand your feeling with the fight with treatment or not, it's a hard decision to even think of trying to make, just know, i don't know how you are feeling but i understand it so very much.. living with mrcc being a caretaker or the one that has it, effects us all, us caretakers, care so much, that we'd do anything to take all the decisions and pain away, but as you & I already know that can't be done..I really want you to know i am here for you, in whatever you need to know, especially what Tim going thru, and especially with the decisions that you are trying to make..Having a pity party, is ok to have, you are fighting a hard disease and tough decisions and we all need them from time to time..Tim and i are still doing good, we are still talking, mostly right now about everyday life things, as long as the line stays open, i hope that he feels comfortable enough to talk about his feelings, i am just leaving it all up to him with what he feels comfortable with..He has his oncologist app tomorrow and he will be saying Good Bye to the one he has now thats leaving the practice, he has decided to continue on with the head of the department, he is alot sterner and fights for his patients, but he is very strong about & with having treatment, so next month, we'll see how that works out..Lisa i hope & pray that you have a better day today, i'll be here all day if you want to talk, i care...
Becca
Beccaanne