Who would have thunk it?
March 1, 2009 10:41pm
When I first joined with this sight I was a totally different person, whom I did not like at all. I have made some wonderful online friends who have …
Progress
15 %
polardesire 
3:04pm November 20
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About Me
polardesire
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About Me
When my feet touch the floor in the morning satan says" Oh shit!!! She is awake!!" I actually am not a religious person but am a very spiritual person. Not sure what to think some days or why. But I do know I want to smile. I want MY "sanity" back. I have a signifigant other who is trying so hard to fully understand everything I am going through and who is so supportive, which is oh such a change for me!
When my feet touch the floor in the morning satan says" Oh shit!!! She is awake!!" I actually am not a religious person but am a very spiritual person. Not sure what to think some days or why. But I do know I want to smile. I want MY "sanity" back. I have a signifigant other who is trying so hard to fully understand everything I am going through and who is so supportive, which is oh such a change for me!
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Interests
I am interested in whatever catches my interest at the time!!! Actually I can get bored very easy and then some days I can be very boring!!!
I am interested in whatever catches my interest at the time!!! Actually I can get bored very easy and
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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1 hug received
November 20
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polardesire changed their mood to Good 3:04pm
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polardesire updated their status 3:04pm
happy but sick...but happy non the less…
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Journal
This entry is private
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I am not too sure what to do with this information
February 6, 2009 1:53am
The other day was not a particularly great day for me. I desperatly wanted to injure myself but I got through it and never did any damage. Earlier in …
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Manic monday???
January 6, 2009 1:27am
I know that I am manic today...but am still cycling rapidly...more rapid than usual tho....still can't accomplish …
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Hugbook
Hug
Winter here? No problemo! Got the warm hugs all lined up for ya! :)
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Hug
Shiney hugs and smiles to make it through the glums and full litter box days. Lotta warm xoxo's for ya
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Hug
Whoa! Kick up yer heals and do a lil 2-step! Huggums from the Shaven Yak coming atcha! :)
Hug
Thank you for the kind words. I started Lamictal almost 2 weeks ago and I think it's causing me horrible stomach pain and nausea at times. I want to keep taking it because I had some luck with it in the past before I lost my insurance and had to stop taking it. But since i'm unemployed I'm going through the state now. I'm just trying to keep my mind off the pain and hope it passes. It's so hard to be 37 and feel like a failure in your life. I thought things would get easier as I got older and they have just gotten worse and worse. So anyway, I hope you have defeated satain today and have a day filled with spirital joy.
Flower
HUGS, I am glad you're feeling better! :)
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
recently diagnosed as bipolar 2 rapid cycle(up to 20 per day) also PTSD, sever anxiety, insomnia, phobias, etc etc
Treatments
- Ativan Somewhat Helpful
- depends on the day...sometimes it just doesn't help at all and some days it knocks me over
- Celexa Not Working
- they are going to be switching this soon because my depression is too strong
- Depakote Somewhat Helpful
- I was allergic to this...it caused severe nightmares( i could not wake up from them and they were too real) and my skin felt alive.
- Topamax Not Working
- worked great at losing weight...lol. Made me forget alot. they are changing this too as it destroys my memory and is not controlling my swings well enuff
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- didn't work at all...only made me dislike cigarettes
- Yoga Working / Worked
- I have been doing alot of yoga and it does help me centre and ground myself. i do one thing called mindful yoga which at first was annoying but i am ok with it now.
- Neurontin Not Working
- had adverse reaction to this one...was not good for me at all...very scarey!!!
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Been dealing with this issue most of my life but it makes me who I am
Treatments
- Inderal Too Soon to Tell
- Music Working / Worked
- some days music works...some days it doesn't
- Paxil Not Working
- paxil worked quiet well when I was younger but I either developed a tolerance or allergy cause my skin felt aweful
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- depends on the day if it is working...I am not one to dig up the past...hate flashbacks
- Rape Counseling Not Working
- had to stop couldn't handle the flashbacks
Open Anxiety
have suffered from extreme anxiety and panic attacks my entire life
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- kinda...some days it knocks me on my butt
- Breathing Exercises Not Working
- i pass out first
- Paxil Not Working
- bad reaction to it
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
in a very violently abusive marriage at 19, abusive marriage at 23, abusive relationship 3 yrs ago..etc etc
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- flash backs are hard to handle
- Divorce Working / Worked
- i am free from them
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- i am trying
- Leave Working / Worked
- i am safe
- Talking Working / Worked
- sometimes it helps
Open Panic Attacks
dealing with anxiety almost my whole life
Treatments
- Ativan Somewhat Helpful
- some days it works
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- sometimes it works
Open Obesity
polardesire hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Migraine Headaches
polardesire hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Self-Injury
Treatments
- Rubber Bands Not Working
- Squeezing Ice Not Working
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Tattoos Somewhat Helpful
