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keagansmom 
1:56pm, April 2, 2009
Well just this week sent koda off on the bus for preschool. Its funny on my other kids i was like this is great but after loseing keagan I just have an emptyness now and feel like crying here my last one is growing up and I know it will go fast and now I am going to be scared when she turns 15 is she going to get this cancer am I going to lose her too. I dont know what I would do the Drs said that it does not run in the family but I always thought Keagan was healthy and he got this cancer so feeling really depressed right now but at least I have the grandkids to keep me going crazy lol I swear im getting old.
Comments
I am sorry you are having a rotten day. I know the fears you are having. I am terrified, that I will lose my daughter. Each time I see her or talk to her, I have to wonder if it is my last. Enjoy those precious grandkids.
Hugs, Barbara
doxylady
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.. I have a fit if Matt does not pick up his phone when I call him.. I really try not to smother him but it is hard.. love to you my friend..
munrogirl
These fears are understandable and I think normal for us, but I'm sorry that you are feeling down today. You're not getting old....those grandkids will keep you young !!! Hope you feel better as the day goes on. Hugs, Kim
KimRW
I live in constant fear that something may happen to my other 3. I think because we know we are not immune to the most catastrophic thing that can happen to a parent.... the loss of a child. I have to talk to myself to not smother them and I told them I may be a smothering mom for a while and to give me a break... I just love them and can not bear the thought of losing another one. We almost did not want to let our daughter get her drivers license because we were fearful... Hang in there, you feel this way because we love... and cherish our babies, even when they are gone. Wendy
wendyTred
I think it is understandable to be afraid...I think each of us are afraid that we will lose another child. WE know that terrible things happen...so we think anything is possible now. Somehow we have to learn not to live in fear and focus on enjoying our children and grandchildren and hope that nothing else happens. Peace to you friend...love and hugs...Karen
biowoman
Oh I remember that fear. That fear that consumes your thoughts. I still have to take a mental note where my kids are when the door bell rings because I always wonder if it's the sherriff bringing me terrible news and right now as I type, I just texted two of my boys because I hear sirens. It's been over two years since I lost my son and I still drive my kids crazy. They say we should live in a bubble (lol). They don't know that I'd really like to. It's strange that we think of what happened to our child will happen to the another. You worry about cancer and I worry about a car accident. Somehow we have to let our fears subside and live in faith and learn to trust the world again. It's not easy but necessary. You can do this. Much love. Robin
Robin4
I just have my one son left and no grandkids, so I do know the fear and it is very awful. Like others said, I guess we have to learn not to live in fear but embrace life. Hard to do but what else is there? We can do it. Love, Belinda
BinkyH