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BlueLaura 
I just posted this and realized, that's a journal entry, not a post! (smacks forehead)
My thinker don't work too good sometimes. Der.
Through all the darkness that December brought, I am now looking back on the steps I've made, and things are going pretty well. I tried to take my own life on Christmas, I'm so glad it didn't work. I fell into a dark, dark hole. My fiance and I got married by a notary public on December 30th, it was nice, but I didn't even take a shower because I was so depressed. When I came back to school to finish writing my masters, I could only go minutes before having to leave for the bathroom to cry. I booked an appointment with my doctor and went on antidepressants the next day. I was able to finish my thesis on time. I started a new job - working that for a couple weeks now with intensive training starting tomorrow. And, on Friday, I'm going to close on my first house. Given this economy, I feel so much gratitude for the gifts I've been given. This all may seem like it's all good, but there is some bittersweet - I was in school for a PhD, and had to settle for this second masters because after eight years of graduate school, I couldn't get it together to finish my doctoral research. I gave up a huge dream that I've had for years. But, I'm hoping that I can discover new dreams. I honestly couldn't have made it through this month without being on medication. It's not perfect, never will be, but it's not bad - that's where I'm at today.
Depression has put some limits on my life that I really wish weren't there. It's meant a change in my goals and dreams. But, I'm thankful for what I do have. Accepting my own depression has been a long road, and I don't know if I'll accept it tomorrow. I'm thankful for today and what I have today.
Comments
2nd Masters? Wow, that is great, congratulation. I'm glad you are making progress, and am glad you didn't suceed on Christmas too.
ZAZAS
A lot of people have no clear goal of what they'd like to do or be with their life. So they walk on that road waiting for life to happen. You had a road laid out for you in your head, there was a major roadblock, but instead of not continuing you just took another route. I think that's me saying 'When one door closes, etc'. Depression is crippling at times, and to make an attempt on your life shows you at your lowest ebb. You can only go in one direction from there. No matter how dreadful someone's life is, there are always options available for them to make something of themselves. It may not be what they initially dreamed of, but doesn't mean they can't still have happiness and contentment. Second Masters is still HUGE!
steveypooz