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BeStill 
2:39am, February 13, 2009
I really cannot believe this. My husband walked out on me tonight and basically told my 5 year old that "I'm outta here." I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old that want to know where daddy is. At my husband's urging and my own, I started this really intense therapy a few weeks ago. Then we went on vacation and a bunch of triggers came up invoving the people that abused me. I went into a REALLY bad place but made it clear that it had nothing to do with him. I was not abusive towards him or angry. Just frantic and frenetic and scared and feeling threatened by everyone. He takes these things personally sometimes and demands that I owe him an apology. The problem is that I cannot control myself when I am in that place. We knew that this new therapy was goign to be hard, but he has totally pushed for it and promised me that he would be there for me when things got crazy. Well, they've gotten crazy and he has bailed. I feel like I'm being re-traumatized all over again. Luckily a friend came over tonight to be with me which really helped but I don't know how I am goignt to go forward tomorrow. I think I have to stop therapy. I can't be delving into all of this shit while my current life is in shambles. I am in a state of distrust and fear. Please pray I will find strength and let the peace of GOd wash over me.
Comments
im so sorry hun...i know the problem of not being understood and my husband taking things personally. I think u know that this is not your fault..but keep telling it to yourself i know how easy i blame myself for stuff i really cant do anything about. Maybe he just needs some time to think too...still this is not ok! Please be strong and fight..im here if u wanna talk hugs
Kaya1823
Gosh I am sorry too.
Do not blame yourself. Its his issue that he can not do this. It is totally crappy of his to leave. I hope he comes his senses and comes back. He might be frustrated that he can not help you. Maybe if you figure out how he can help you he will be able to cope.
Good therapy should leave you in a better more peacful state. Only sometimes when breakthroughs are happening it might be jarring but you can control that with therapist by telling them the situation and them adjusting to the current needs. My therapist and I shift between addressing my current life issues and internal problems. It really helps to have someone give good life advice. I am not sure if your therapist is good with this.
Keep us posted.
Kath08
I wish I had read your journal earlier. We seem to be in the same position. My Therapist just called and wants My husband to come in with me during my next session. I hope it Helps. Earthlake recommended a book to me called "Allies in Healing" It is written to help the SO. It might help your Husband to read it. I'm so sorry he has done this. You are not to blame, you are trying to heal. Hopefully your Therspist can help with this. Hang in there! Hugs to you and your Babies!!
Aurenna
I'm sorry to hear your Husband walked out. I'm sure it's hard for him to understand. They say it gets worse before it gets better...so hang in there.
Maybe your husband can go with you to a therapy session so your therapist can be a mediator and explain PTSD and therapy and his role.
Yeah, there are books out there for spouses, I bought them for my hubby, he hasn't read them :(
Hang in there..
TLCDaisy