RyannsDad's Journal

spent the day with mama and ryann today.. it's usually so busy i think i've forgotten what it's like to be just with someone without having a bunch to do?? makes it hard to connect with the summer here and all.. Ryann still continues to amaze me with her curiousity and just the fact she knows so much.. if i watch her long enough it's kinda scary.. lol but in a good way.

mama gets frustrated with her really easily when it's just the 2 of them.. i get kinda mad when i hear some of the things that come out of her mouth when we're on the phone.. i understand how hard it is for them but to be honest i've never had a problem when it's been just Ryann and i?? granted.. i don't have boobs so she really doesn't want much from me??

these days it's a power struggle with me being unemployed and the rest of the clan wanting to go on vacations and do things i just can't afford.. really kicks me in the balls when i feel their longing for fun and all i have to really offer is the hope later on.. timing is always just poor for me?!

still hoping to get my business going and making preparations for myself as well as looking for customers but i still need to make sure i can deliver before i make promises that are in the hands of people that i can only talk to.. i'm nervous and excited these days.. i heard a qoute on the radio today that makes sense.. "if you love what you're doing then you never have to work a day in your life" it makes pretty good sense actually??

anyway.. just sharing my thoughts right now.. nobody around here seems to want to hear them.. lol