Journal

ive been out of it for the last 2 or 3 weeks...im sad then happy then fussy grumpy laughing....i miss him, him and want him but love one so bad it hurts. i cry then smile than cry some more pretend to be happy. im trying to control my tears but they just seem tooo strong for me. :(

even though im still with him idk how he truely feels. i dnt know what i want anymore. i want to run away and scream. i sometimes want to crule up into alittle ball and disappear. lol. my friends are like theres something wrong and i agree to the fullest but i dnt know. its like im slipping back into that phase where im falling silent and dark and really really sad. i dnt like it i dnt want it. i want it to go away.

im so scared...but of wat??? nothings making sense....people are calling me pretty but i highly doubt it. people just say things now and then. ughhhh this life of mine. i want to go away far away so im alone just for awhile.

so my life right now is going better. not so many sad days, almost always in a terrific mood. my boyfriend and i are getting ready for next year after i turn 18. ive decided to move in with him as soon as possible to get school and life in ohio situated. i spelled that word wrong but oh well. :)

damn who would have thought that i could actually feel this good. its just crazy crazy feelings runnning through me. .....FEELING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GREAT MAN!!!! lmao