Richie A freind??
June 29, 2009 5:28pm
I had this friend Richie on DS, we were very good friends, we even emailed each other. well Richie got a job and only lasted 2 weeks on it, I was …
ulana4 
9:36am, July 3, 2009
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About Me
ulana4
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About Me
I am on disabillity and in chronic pain from pancreatitis, arthritis and tendonitis. I suffer from anxiety attacks, panic attacks and agoraphobia as well as social anxiety. I have 1 daughter of whom I am very proud of. I lost my husband 24yrs ago and raised my daughter w/ the help of my father. I was very close to my father. He died 4 yrs ago of Alzheimers. That was a terrible experience. I have a boyfriend, we have been together for 21 years. My family is close, my father kept us together, now my daughter is taking that roles. She is my pride and joy in life.
I am on disabillity and in chronic pain from pancreatitis, arthritis and tendonitis. I suffer from anxiety attacks, panic attacks and agoraphobia as well as social anxiety. I have 1 daughter of whom I am very proud of. I lost my husband 24yrs ago and raised my daughter w/ the help of my father. I was very close to my father. He died 4 yrs ago of Alzheimers. That was a terrible experience. I have a boyfriend, we have been together for 21 years. My family is close, my father kept us together, now my
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Interests
I like to read, gardening, crochett and painting. I live in the country and enjoy sitting in my rock garden.
I like to read, gardening, crochett and painting. I live in the country and enjoy sitting in my rock
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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2 hugs given, 1 hug received, 1 journal comment
Today
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ulana4 gave gerisue flowers 5:48pm
Lets pretend we are having coffee together, try to be happy, don't think about bad things, write to you…
Yesterday
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ulana4 commented on gerisue’s journal entry Panic! at the Disco...and overtakes my life again... 11:46am
I know exactly what you felt, it has happened to me alot, just last week I had a dr appt that I had to…
Tuesday
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ulana4 gave gerisue an I'm with you 11:09am
We can always pretend we are having coffee, I like long engagements, its better that way, you get to…
November 16
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ulana4 gave gerisue a ray of sunshine 6:07pm
I haven't been here in a long time, I thought you were going to go out anyway, did you hear from him…
April 11
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ulana4 turned 55 12:00am
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Journal
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Feeling So Alone
June 7, 2009 11:44am
I have been feeling so sad lately and so alone, why I don't know, but won't let myself become a victim and live in self-pity. I feel so …
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Feeling So Alone
June 7, 2009 11:44am
I have been feeling so sad lately and so alone, why I don't know, but won't let myself become a victim and live in self-pity. I feel so …
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the tenant the Jerk
April 23, 2009 12:58pm
Alot of my friends on DS have been asking about the jerk of a tenant..well all of February we had these big blow out fights, I let out all my anger, …
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Grandmother dying
April 9, 2009 11:15am
My grandmother is dying..haven't been on line because dealing w/ that and family. She is 103 and has lived a long good life, but it is still …
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Hugbook
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Kiss
My sweet sister...yes, I had to come back...I am so messed up right now...didn't know where else to turn...I have talked to Russ, but not really "talked" about anything deep, you know? He says he loves me, but it will be a long engagement...oh, and the newest thing is that I am eating like crazy. I have gained 15 pounds in 2 months. I am so unhappy. I guess I will stay here and accept all the love I can get...I need it so much...and I guess someday I will find a friend in Riverside to go have coffee with...that's all I want right now....I wish I could have coffee with YOU! Sweet hugs, my sister.....love, Sheppi
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Flower
Hello, my dear New York sister, well, here I am again...didn't think I would ever come back here...so suicidal tonight, Saturday night, all alone, this was supposed to be one on the happiest nights of my life, but Russ didn't come out for the weekend, so no engagement party...I just want a friend to go get a cup of coffee with and cry my eyes out with....just had to tell you this...I know you won't read it very soon because of your other duties on the other website...I am just sending you love on 11/14/2009 at 8:39 p.m. Pacific time....xoxoxoxoxox....Sheppi
Hug
Hug
well ready for school hope your doing well
Hug
Just dropping by for a quick hello! Hope you're doing well.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
I get bad anxiety attacks, have social anxiety (agoraphobia).. I tend to isolate myself because scard to be around people or to go out. I also have chronic pain and am on alot of medication. I am an alcoholic and have been fighting that for 7 years,On the bright side I have a beautiful daughter that I am very proud of. I lost my husband 24 years ago and still having problem accepting his death.. its just been the two of us and we are very close. I am very thankful to have her.
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- It worked for awhile then my anxiety attacks got worse and I needed something stronger.
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- I was on it for 6 years, it really helped me alot. But my condition got worse so had to change medication
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Paxil Working / Worked
- I had a bad reaction to it, made me more anxious.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- It works sometimes but if the anxiety attacks are strong I am unable to think positively
- Remeron Working / Worked
- I was on it for 3 years, it worked but then I became more depressed so was put on different medication
- Valium Working / Worked
- Was on if off and on, didn't really help my anxiety.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- I have been on it for 7 years and it works great. The only problem is that I can't go out because I might pass out. So have to stay home when I take it.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- Was on it for several years until it stipped working
- Neurontin Working / Worked
- It helps the pain in my hands I stopped it once and my hands hurt so much I couldnt do anythin
Close Alcoholism
In 2001 I got pancreatitis which was caused from drinking. I almost died, I was in a coma for a month and in the hospital for 2 months. The doctors tell me if I start drinking it will kill me. So for the most part I did quit, but sometimes I get bad anxiety attacks and will sneak a drink. I know it can kill me but I am unable to stop. I need help.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Somewhat Helpful
- I had problems finding my higher power
- AA Meetings Somewhat Helpful
- talked about God alot and I could not relate
- Ativan Working / Worked
- It worked in the beginning
- Cold Turkey Somewhat Helpful
- I did quit cold turkey when I first admitted was an alcoholic but now its harder to stay there
- Folic Acid Working / Worked
- I am on folic acid but did not think it was for drinking. I am on alot of medication
- Librium Working / Worked
- take librax which is a lower dose. I take it for abdominal discomfort and tension and it helps
- Sleep Not Working
- sleep alot because of depression
- Willpower Not Working
- does not work when get anxiety attacks
- Xanax Working / Worked
- it helps but afraid to go out when I take it because one side effect is that it puts me to sleep. I have no control over it I will be doing something and then the next thing I know I wake up still in position of what I was doing.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I helps my depression and that helps me to deny having a drink
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have been depressed on and off since 1984 when my husband died. I became a single parent and was under alot of stress. I have been on many different anti-depressants. It seemed that after several years the meds would stop working. Currently I am on Prozac and it seems to be helping. I also have pancreatitis, chronic pain, anxiety and agoraphobia. I am on 14 meds daily.
Treatments
- Cymbalta Not Working
- I was on it for only a week. It gave me suicidal thoughts and I ended up in the psych ward in the hospital for a week.
- Effexor Somewhat Helpful
- I was on it for about a year, it stopped helping me.
- Paxil Not Working
- I was on it for 1 day, it gave me restless leg syndrome, insomnia,anxiety and nervousness.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- It helps but its hard to keep positive thoughts when you get very depressed
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I was on it for several years and then it stopped helping me and the doctor changed my meds
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Has worked but works better w/ meds.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- It helps but sometimes they don't know how to support you
- Wellbutrin Somewhat Helpful
- It made me dizzy and I couldn't think clearly
- Writing Working / Worked
- I have been keeping a journal since I was a teenager, it has helped, my therapist helped me to write in a way that helped me analyze my thoughts and problems
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- I was on it for several years and then it stopped working so the doctors changed my meds
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- was on it for several years and it helped then the doctors changed my meds
- Remeron Working / Worked
- It helped especially to sleep good then meds stopped working and doctors changed it
- Ativan Working / Worked
- it worked but then needed somethiing stronger
- Xanax Working / Worked
- I have been on it for 7 years and it helps
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseMy husband died 24 years ago and the pain is like he just died. I still love him very much, no one will ever take his place. Also my father died 4 years ago, we were very close, he was always there for me. I miss him so much.My grandmother died recently, she was 103, she was soo independent, strong, stubborn, loving..she built her own crooked little house, I will always remember her and the green leaf ring she gave me.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- I still cry especially on the anniversary of his death. I visit my fathers grave and always cry. it helps to release the pain only for a moment
- Getting Angry Not Working
- I get so angry. Why did he have to die, he was so young, why did I lose him, I love him so
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Its still there in the back of your mind
- Pets Working / Worked
- Having pets keeps you company and you love them
- Reading Working / Worked
- I do read alot to take me to another world
- Remembering Working / Worked
- Looking at his pictures, reading my journal, its bitter sweet, I love to remember but I cry so much
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Especially from people who knew him, my sister and my father has given me the most support..For my father my daughter has given my the support
- Talking Working / Worked
- I love talking about my husband and father, the fun times, the days we laughed and loved. Hearing other peoples memorys helps too.
- Time Not Working
- Time has not taken the pain away or the love. Time only made you learn to live w/ the pain and the love.
