Journal

I graduated, yeah for me, not really.  Things are the same with my jaw, except my neck seems to get tense every day and a couple of times my left arm has gone completely numb and ice cold for hours without any apparent reason.  My mom's worried I might have heart problems, but I won't go and get that checked out until after my jaw is dealt with.  I'm still living at home.  I hang out and watch tv with my brother most days or babysit.  I turned 18 and haven't yet bought my own cigarettes yet, I guess I'm just too lazy to actually go out and do it.  Everyone always does everything for me.  I am now sleeping in my own bed since we moved to a new house in may.  It's out in the country, 3 miles out of town.  It's ok, but I've always been more of a city girl, feeling more at home in a big city.  Just living and trying to get by.

I now only go to school one night a week to complete the half credit of english I need.  I will be finished in 5 weeks.  I'm still technically enrolled in my highschool, but my schedule has release every single hour.  I have no idea how homeroom will fit into this schedule.  I feel so releived.  The packets that i have to do aren't that hard either.  The first packet is based off of a story that I had to read for school sophmore year.  Fun stuff.

I replied to someones post on a different support group for depression, stating how I felt about the topic that this guy was posting about.  It was basically about how there is no long care treatment for people with mental illnesses anymore, calling all current treatment "fast food style treatment" treating patients like big macs.  He was ragging on psych wards and meds.  I totally disagreed with him about the psych wards and meds because I know people they have worked for.  He totally flipped out at me, asking how I was qualified to answer him.  At one point he asked me if I was a patient or a doctor.  I told him a patient and that I took a general class in psychology and that I wasn't a doctor, duh I'm 17.  He flipped out at me telling me that I was silly and wasn't qualified to give professional advice, hello it was a support group, not doctors only group.  He said that he would just have to wait until some adults replied and that I should get back to playing barbies.  I was offended and upset me and then told him so and called him arrogant for disregarding everything I said because of my age.  I also reminded him that it was a support group for people to give advice and talk about their experiences and that my intentions were good and that he had crossed the line.   He then replied that he would talk to me if I was a patient that had treatment that didn't work, or was a doctor.  This did not make sense, I have been through therapy and know people who have been in psych wards and everything.  I guess he just wanted to someone to agree with him,  I guess having an actually conversation wasn't actually what he wanted.  Long story short, his post got deleted.  I laughed and smiled, I mean his comment about the barbies really upset me to the point that I almost broke down crying; hello it's a group with a bunch of depressed people, can you get any smarter.  Some people.  Actually I found out that I wasn't the only one who thought he was being inappropriate, he got banned from the group all together.