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gens4 
Forgiving others it is hard when so many cannot forgive me. I am struggling with forgivness, from those who hurt me to my husbands inability to want to change. I know i should forgive that I need to forgive, butit is ard whne the other person is so arrogant and expects to be forgiven but not change. I would sit and ask what to do, but I know that like Jesus I must forgive no matter what. It does not matter if the other is arrogant, or will get away with his actions; that no one will ever know what they are really like or that they will prosper from the situation, what matters is that I forgive. And so I do, I forgive all those who have hurt me, including myself. I forgive all those who have lied about me to get what they want with no regard of how it hurt me, I forgive all those who hurt me in order to get ahead in life. I only expect forgiveness back, may be it will come maybe not, but somewhere someone will forgive me down the line. I wish the best for all those who hurt me, tha tthey may prosper and that God will open their eyes to the hurt that they are passing out. I forgive them all and I forgive me.
It has been a while since I have been here writing. I am trying hard to live each day with out any judgemnt towrds others but it is hard, when it seems those in control of my life are judging me without cause. I have not been perfect and know I do not need to be, yet it seems I come into contact with many who want me to be perfect. Maybe i am just perceiving this, but then again may be not. I wish the rules applied to everyone, why can I not be imperfect but why can others be. What will I do.
It has been quite a week. I hurt my ankle, bruised tot eh extreme, may be cracked, so the docs are treating like a fracture. If that was not enough my fellow employees are spreading rumors that I am a back stabbing b___, and an a___ Kissing B___. That my sole goal is to have everyone I do not like fired so that I can be supervisor. This could not be furthest from the truth. The pressure got me me I nearly quit. In tears the one day, and now I keep totally to myself. I tried to lead a team but then the demeaning teasing started over the radio, I gave up and left early. I want to above this and not let it bother me, but 40 hours a week of the constant ridicule and the constant barrage of "digs" at my Christian faith and being "too good" is wearing me out. I have asked for a transfer but I do not know if I will be able to transfer.
At first I thought it is just teasing no big deal, butit is a big deal, what does it matter, if I choose not to swear or act innappropriatly, that does not mean others cannot not. This only bothers me when it affects me opn a personal level. These comments and rumors are personal toward me. Such slander is being thrown about. I am feeling rather blue, i need to work, but I am niot sure how to get above this pettiness. I want to do my job, but I am letting the comments affect my performance, what to do?
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