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Jjaye 
7:14pm, March 19, 2009
Ahh wow, this is my first journal entry. I guess this is the first time since joining this group that I really needed to get some shit off my chest. I literally feel like I'm losing my mind. I have been suffering with this debilitating nausea and stomach discomfort for close to a month, and I have no answers. Nothing works. The only thing that remotely helps is Pepto, but that's only short term relief. I need to know what's going on, and I need to know soon. My ultrasounds turned up nothing, but hopefully the endoscopy will yeild some answers. I'm thinking maybe an ulcer.... Leave it to me to give myself a damn ulcer.
The pain friggin sucks, but what sucks even more is the toll that this has taken on my life. I'm an avid excersizer....I get mad at myself when I don't work out atleast 5 days a week. Since this ridiculous stomach shit started happening, I haven't been able to work out as often or as hard as I'd like. If I go too hard I get sick to my stomach, so I feel like I'm wasting my time being there. I also feel like I'm dragging my friends, family and boyfriend down with me. I've been nothing but miserable for the past several weeks. My poor boyfriend, whom I love and cherish very dearly, hasn't gotten laid in God knows how long because his girlfriend is a basket case with a terrible stomach. I know this doesn't bother him as much as I think it does, because he is there for me 100%, and he wants answers just as badly as I do. I love him so much, and he's done so much for me...I just feel SO guilty that he has to suffer along with me. I have no sex drive, I have no DRIVE PERIOD. All I think about is my damn stomach. When it's not bothering me, I think "wow, my stomach doesn't hurt...sweet." and then 10 minutes later it starts to hurt. This is actually starting to depress me. I may be an anxious person, but I've never been depressed. I've been crying alot, feeling very bad for myself, and just moping way too much.
Ugh, I just need something to give already! Medicine that works, anything! Today I took Zantac, Reglan (prescription anti-nausea medicine that they give Chemo patients) and Pepto. That can't be good! Mixing all of those medicines is probably doing nothing but making things work. But I need relief! I don't know why I continue to take anything, knowing that nothing helps anyway. I might as well just suffer through it, and live with it. I'm beginning to feel like this is going to be a life long problem for me, and that is absolutely not what I want. I know how trying these past few weeks have been, and I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. I'm at my wits end! The only time I don't feel sick is when I'm asleep. Which would explain why I want to sleep all the time.
UGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Comments
WOW...this sounds like exactly what I am going through! Every doc thinks it is an ulcer too, but ever since I got on xanax for my panic attacks, it has calmed down ALOT! I also take zantac (the generic walmart brand) and it works wonders. I feel your pain darlin I really do
dazedanconfusedd
I was just wondering if you have really thought about what is going on woth your stomach.
Have you tried long term change of diet?
You could be suffering from celiacs disease or a milk allergy.
You say that it hurts all the time which would suggest that its not an allergy but maybe an ulcer or god forbid a tumor.
Is there any sign of discharged blood?
Are you having any difficulty going to the bathroom?
just a heads up there are different types of endoscopy, make sure they are doing the full intestine. It kinda caught my attention cause I was watching mystery diagnosis the other day and a tumor was missed cause they didnt look at the full intestine just the lower part.
If I were you I would try soy or rice milk for a few weeks and maybe a gluten free diet and see what happens.
Anyway just some thoughts for you.
DarkSON