Journal

I really can't believe how bad all of this really is. I am having so much anxiety that I can't even get to the grocery store! I just have no blood in me at all, I feel so dead.

What in God's name did this crap do to me, and all the other's that are going through this with me.

Where is all this frigging anxiety coming from,and the inability to just be able to get dressed, and go when ever I want to? I hate this no friends, I can't reach out on the phone, I feel strange in public as I am alone all the time.

Just so hungry for friends, energy, and to be a part of life, but I can't find my way back right now.

This is the hardest thing I have been through in so long, and they don't even know how long it takes to withdrawl from this shit. It could be 6 mo. to 2 years or more!!!!

God just help me, I can't do this alone.

Debbie

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I am so full of fear, and anxiety right now due to this medication, and my trying to get off of it.

 It causes you to have anxiety more when on it, and so many bad thing happen to you as well.

I just became a Zombie, afraid of life, people, leaving my home, couldn't get things taken care of that really needed to be done. I just couldn't find it withint me to do anything at all.

Then I discovered that hard way that it was this antidepressant that I was on, and when the octor cut it in half I really started to lose it on day 6. Oh my God the withdrawls are so awful, and you get electrical shocks to you head, teeth, sweating, abdmonial pain, itching, nightmares, can't concentrate, anxiety. The list goes on, and on. Some of the withdrawls are just like being on it.

Doctors don't know about the withdrawls, or the side effects so you are not believed, they just think it you, and your nuts. Then I found a place that so many other were having the same problem, and found that my brain had to have this drug, without it I would have horrible withdrawls. There I found a way to slowly wean myself off this stuff, but it's still so hard, and you just feel like your crawling out of your skin, and going insane again.

It is better now that I have less of this drug in me, but I still am just having such a terrible time with the withdrawls. They say they can last up to 2 years for some people. It also does not matter how long you have been on this drug, it still will cause the same to happen to a person.

All this time I thought there was something so wrong with me, only to find out my condition was brough on my a horrible drug. I know I could be repeating myself, or not be making any sense right now, that what it does to you.

I am just scared!!! What will happen to me. What has it done to me? When will it stop?

Debbie

Hell Everyone,

Fist I want to say thank you to all that have left comments on my journal, and sorry that I didn't respond. I just didn't realize, and even if I do leave responses for other's didn't think the same about my own stuff, scrambled head at times still but.....

I was just thinking a little while ago when I was tearing apar the bedroom, yes I finally have one. Anyway I realized whatt I was doing, SOMETHING BESIDES JUST LAYING IN OR ON MY BED?COUCH WATCHING TV!!!!!! Yeah, and yesterday I had a really great day too!!! Was able to clean the house like I did before the Cymbalta, and I am just so blow away.

I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, before ther was not even a tunnel, I just figured this was it, my case was just untreatable, and also I was doomed to live in this swfyl, frightening state the rest of my life.

Welll that's not what my God want's for me, I know that deep inside somewhere, but had just given up that he even waw there helping me anymore. That too I knew was false, but I just couldn't even agrue with that stuuf in my headm or when I tried I was not getting anywhere.

Well things have changed in the last couple of days, what I don't even care, alll I know is that I feel hopeful, and tha's something I havn't felt since I have been on cymbalta. God I am so fu-king pissed of at this Elilily for even making this grug, and hten to pass it out, and act like it's harmless. I was a drug adict, and I used Heroin. /That waw a ckae walk to get off us compared to this noxious drug.

Please , Pleas read all there is about all the meds you doc wants to put you on, I alwys wan to know what it;slike when I am going to get of it too. I want honesty, not half truths so I know what to ecpect. Most you doc, pharm tech, and even the pharmiicist don't know the side effects, or about the withdralws. We have all had to find out the hard way, and suffer severly, and for how long even off will continue to do so.

Still haviing withdrawls, but did the Prozac gig, and so grateful I did, so much better at calming the hienous side effect, and withdrawls.

Having a good day, back to cleaning.

Love you all,

Debbie