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fullambermoon 
10:44pm, February 2, 2009
Today should have been his last day at work, he was laid off. A mutual friend stopped by and told me he looked horrible and scarry. I am so scared! He always talked about not having respect for people that comite suicide but that is exactly what he is doing. Can he see...no the drug is in him and telling him that he is ok and keep doing it. I read this Meth poem on the web last night about a 21 year old girl who lost her life in an over dose and when the family was cleaning out her stuff they found the poem. It robes you of your soal and he has none right now. I am so scared for him, I want to contact him to try to bring him back to reality and push him to rehab. But he wont and I cant call. I always threatened I would leave him if he continued, I left so I have to stick to my guns. He has to falll on his face all by himself. I tried everything, I drained 10,000 into him before I left. He cant pay his bills, he lost his job. I worry he really could commite suicide becasue he is so out of it and the Meth might tell him thats the only way to end this...what should I do? I love him and I am so scared. I want to reach out, tell him I am still in love with him. But who is he now not the man I love. This is so hard; anyone reading this please pray for us!!
Comments
dear friend i pray for you as i am going through a very similar battle..... you're right their nothing you can do though until he wants to do something to help himself by himself and that's hard at least for me; the hardest thing is to see my husband reject me and my love and get high and ... well you know how it goes......
i don't know if you believe in God, i'm not always sure what i believe in, but i try to pray to God that he can help me because i can't handle it myself.......
Sometimes, you just have to love someone enough to let them go, even if it hurts........ it breaks my heart the way my marriage is falling apart and a week before x-mas...
try to be good to yourself and trust that he has something to learn out of this life, we all do, maybe he had to go through all this to learn something.... hopefully find sobriety and more good things, i wish it for the both of you....
i so feel the same way you do when you write things like "I love him and I am so scared. I want to reach out, tell him I am still in love with him. But who is he now not the man I love. " i miss the REAL him so much!!!! no love no trust to affection no sex no money, no stability nothing :( i feel real alone, we can at least, be alone together..... my dear, my thoughts are with you!
p-s: what do you plan on doing for x-mas time.... i'm so anting to crawl into my bed and hide! :(
LOOKIN4BETTERDAYZ
Dear Friend thanks fo all your support! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I am having a tuff week, I miss him so much and its been over a month since we have talked. He lost his job and he is still out doing drugs (from the feedback from mutual friends). I am hurting and I am having a hard time nt reaching out to him and I am doing so well...at least I think you know. I have not called him or driven by our house. But I just do not know what to do, I miss his family and the traditions we had. I hope you are well and this finds you with in happiness. I dont nkow what to say other than Merry Christmas and I love ya.
fullambermoon