hopefulJenn's Journal

It feels great now that we have told the kids the news! No more secrets or waiting until they are at school or in the shower to talk about things.

My little one was so sick on Sunday but the news perked him up so much. he is so happy. Monday he got up and took out his "I'm going to be a big brother" shirt and laid it out on the couch and smoothed out all the wrinkles. I think he wanted to wear it to school but didn't kow if he could! He put it on after bath last night and slept in it! Today I asked him if he was wearing it to school and he said "We can?" But it had a spot on it so I had to bleach the spot out today so he can wear it tomorrow.... he is going to be disappointed when I remind him tomorrow is wear red day for Red Ribbon Week! I guess he will wear his t-shirt on Thursday. He told one of his friends the news before school even started yesterday! I am going to have to remind him to let me know who he has told!

He was so funny yesterday. I was at the computer and he was resting, then he came up to me and said "If the baby is a boy I can say 'my brothers are driving me crazy'!" He saw some clothes i have bought and he took them to show off to his big brother. He is going to be the proudest big brother ever! He has asked me several times when do he and his brother get to go to the appointment to see the baby on TV (3D ultra sound)! He wants to get a good peek, maybe for proof!

He also told me he knows the baby that died in my tummy was a girl because he prayed for a girl everyday, but he doesn't know yet if this baby is a boy or a girl. That was a little sad to hear and I reminded him we have to keep praying for this baby. I have some fear and worry trying to sneak in, but everytime i feel the worry and hear my brain going over these horrible scenarios i just stop myself and pray. I have to have faith and think faithful thoughts. You can't have faith and doubt at the same time right!

My older son doesn't say much, but that fits his personality. When my little guy starts the conversation he talks with him. My mom has told us twice already that she is happy for us. I guess my father in law called my hubby yesterday and asked how I was doing and said congratulations. My dad who is out of state should get his letter in a few days ans so should the rest of my relatives. I asked my kids if they wanted to share the news at church and they said no, grandma can do it!

Oh, worry worry stay away, come again no other day! I can't wait for the baby to grow and make it hard to button my pants and to move so I know we are doing okay! My next appointment is two weeks from tomorrow... my 36th birthday is tomorrow and my mom's birthday is the day after the appointment! Time is going by so fast! I can not believe I have made it to 17weeks or that I am already 36... I sure don't feel it!