Journal

Hi anyone that is reading this!

Just like to start by thanking Sue for her comments on my 1st entry and the loads of other people who have gave my support and the virtual hand of friendship...it is very much appreciated, and also to say that I hope everyone is having a good day today.

I am enjoying my life free from a bet just now, I was at my meeting on Friday and the meeting is stuggling a little with numbers although in terms of input the meeting is as strong as ever, just wish we had a few more people there to share with. I was in the chair for the 1st time in a long time and our meeting is the easiest in the world to chair as we have a format which allows the chairman to simply open up and shut up! I really enjoyed feeling more involved with the meeting and the journey home gave me a bit of quiet time to reflect on where my life is just now, and I am happy with that.

My weekend was really good. Me and Karen started and finished our Xmas shopping which for me is an absolute miracle compared to other times where I couldn't guarantee that everyone would get a present, some Xmas's nobody did, which looking back was a horrendous period for me, and one which I know does not have to be revisited one day at a time

Right I will sign off now and I'll type some more later on this week

Hope everyone is doing well

Bye

I really do not know what to write in this blog but I think it could be a good thing to put down my thoughts and feelings in print so I can compare at a later date, and what better way to start than my 1st day on here!

So today then...I am feeling positive today I have been back at GA since the beginning of September this year after a few crazy months of going off the rails, I have been attending GA on and off for 5/6 years and since coming back in September I have been struggling to feel like myself again and get on a road to recovery. it just feels like I have been off  a bet as opposed to being free from a bet, if that makes any sense at all! However in the last few weeks I have felt the obsession to gamble being lifted from me, and I am starting to have the ability to live a normal life e.g carry money, read newspapers that sort of thing, but I know I have been here before and I need to begin the programme, I don't know why that thought scares me I know in my heart that the programme will help improve my life and start me off on a great passage of self discovery, yet I still have a little fear in me.

Sorry for rambling and hope that made even a little bit of sense to anyone who may have read it!