mamacow2's Journal

Well, Dear Journal, I will miss you... sort of.  (you get kinda personal, ya know, lol)

I'm am taking a break.... from all meds.  I found out how much they are and can't afford them.  So I quit.  Spring is here, well almost and with it the snowstorms should disappear so migraines should be few and far between, (at least the series that last days on end).

I have enough migraine meds to last through the Spring.  I just have to go off the preventatives and by Fall they should be in generic form or God will just have my brain healed by then!  AMEN!  :-)

So I have to quit writing as things may get scrambled for a little while (I hope just temporarily).  I refused to squander what little settlement Work Comp sent on over priced meds when we need dental work and propane.  Silly Work Comp.  (I have 4 front teeth lay over many nights and if I'm careful they will stand up again in the mornings and by noon, if I leave then alone and pray over then, they settle back into the gums enough that I can carefully brush them.  lol)  I know I need to put in falseys but I guess for me that's the beginning of the end.  I was holding out 'til I was 50 and that's just barely over a year away.  But without back teeth on one side and with too many broken teeth on the other side to chew, I miss eating a nice juicy steak.  And grilling season is coming up and we have some nice tender elk steaks from last hunting season just whispering our names.  I shouldn't complain.  My upper front teeth are still intact! ;-)  (Having an 18 month old around was a convient cover-up for cutting up things into tiny pieces though!  lol)

Speaking of our precious Godchild, God is sooo good-all the time and all the time-God is good!  (couldn't resist! lol)  She is to be reunited with her mom in a Christian Teen Challenge Treatment Center on April 6th.  Yeah!  PTL!  The only hard part will be the 60-90 day bonding period where we will have no contact.  I know it is necessary, but it will be hard.  It's a 2 year program so after that time, we'll be able to have visitations, probably regularly.  :-)

We have been watching the Wiggles. They are wonderful!  I am so impressed.  2 or 3 of them started out as early childhood educators and met and formed a band (in Australia 17 years ago) and expanded to TV, Videos, concerts, etc.  They really know what kids like and developmentally, they are right on.  You can tell, they love kids and love what they are doing.  They have become one of the highlights of our morning.  :-)  (Better than Barney for her!) 

side note:  Did I tell you about my Barney crisis?  I told my son and a very dear friend but I don't thik I told you Dear Journal.  I think too much purple dino can cause near pychosis.  Let me explain.

After weeks of watching Barney with Aspen right before her morning naptime, I was sitting down drinking a much needed cup of coffee after a long night of her having nightmares and needing consoled that she wasn't alone and whatever else she needed rocked and cuddled for, WAMMO!  It hit me!  I finally understood what had bothered me about that giant purple puppet.  Something always bothered me about him but I couldn't put my finger on it.

I scrutinized him dancing and then looked down at my body and then looked up at heaven and said out loud, "PRAISE YOU GOD FOR PUTTING MY ARMS ON THE SIDE OF MY BODY AND NOT ON MY FRONT LIKE HIS SO I CAN REACH THINGS CORRECTLY AND NOT FALL OVER LIKE THE EMUS!"  Whoa!  I had an instant epiphany.  No more Barney for me!  I was taking the Dino way tooo seriously.  He wasn't real.  He was a misshapened puppet of poor design.  I mean, his little sister, Baby Bop's arms were in the correct position as were BJ's and Riff's, and Elmo's, Bert's & Ernie's.  Everyone in Puppetry knows correct arm positioning, for puppet's sake!

I digress, anywho, we now only watch Barney once a week, but we watch lil' einstiens and the Wiggles everyday and read books like crazy. We are going to miss her terribly.  I'm sure I will get a lot of cleaning and work at the office done after April 6th to fill those times.  I might even have to sneak watch the Wiggles after everyone else goes to sleep to get my Aspen "fix" until I can have visitation with her again. 

She is so much more verbal and calm, and less stimming since we took her off of milk and cheese and limited her gluten.  I am praying that they will continue her dietry regimine without doc's orders so she won't be "labeled" yet still have the advantage of early autism intervention.

Please pray for her and her mom to succeed and that Jesus becomes their life centers.  He can heal them, and only Him.

Blessings and hugs be upon ya.  see ya when I see ya, but know I love ya.

Lynda :-)