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  lindamae (10/02/09)

  Ahhhh, a grandchild. I know this will be an important moment in your life. It's one of those things that one can't really explain...it just happens. They become so precious to one...like seeing an angel.
  I am going to see my mother in about an hour. Lately, I've been going so that I "miss" lunch so they don't expect me to help feed her. I just find it too difficult to see her in that state. Would rather just hold her hand or something. It's all so twisted up, emotionally. Hurts and brings things to the surface that had been quietly resting for years.
  Guess I should get myself ready. My hair is sticking out like a madwoman.
  Yes, I have thought of Gemzar...not sure if I had reached a point with it where it wasn't as effective or what. I will try to get as many answers as possible at the next trip to the Doc. (it may be my last here in Oregon.)
  I just had this song, "New York on Sunday" going through my mind, "big city down for a nap, NY on Sunday, take a walk and it'll all fall in your lap..."Or something like that! ha ha ha.
  well, we are far from the NY state of mind here in the Northwest. Very casual...took me a long time to get with that program.
  many hugs, lindamae
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  lindamae (10/01/09)

  Thanks for the sunshine! When I got back from driving Mac to the airport this morning at 4:30 am, I turned on the heat and went back to bed. Didn't sleep all night prior with my head sort of spinning out of control. Feeling much better now.
  The toe is really looking ugly...I hope I don't lose the nail. Of course, walking up and down the stairs at my son's place I must have stubbed it 3X! My mouth is still not right...but better and thanks for asking.
  
  Mac says he'll be buying our house OR ELSE. So we shall see. Punta Gorda is on the West Coast of Florida, below Sarasota and above Fort Myers. Some nice condos...not too far from my brother and SIL's place. They are on the water, but since we don't have a boat we don't need to be.
  Had fun with my Grandgirls. Tilly (3) is a rather wild bundle of energy with the cutest face imaginable. Mazie (6 3/4) is more sedate and actually a lot like her Grandmom. She is continually "writing books" and I wouldn't be surprised if some day she's doing it for a living. Of course, one never really knows at the age. It's just that she so loves the written word.
  Now that I am alone I am trying to think of what to do this weekend. I ordered some capris and a shirt from Coldwater Creek online and they are too big. I was afraid of that...but can't actually get it into my head that I a full size, at least, smaller.
  When you can take your pants off without undoing them...and the shirt looks like it belongs on someone way bigger...I guess I get the idea. So...one of my trips is to make a return at the Coldwater Creek store, which isn't too far away. Perhaps trying things on is a better idea.
  I guess every other week is still very hard on your body...and I think about the trip that you have to take each time. Winter will be a little more difficult too, won't it?
  The side effects of this Doxil are so long term. It just seems crazy that 3 weeks later my skin still develops itchy red patches and that my mouth just never feels right. I am, however, alive...
  Called about my insurance changing and it looks like it won't be too difficult to move from local additional medicare coverage to one in Florida. Oregon has such amazing social services! It and the general attitude about most things I consider important (education!) will be the most difficult to leave.
  Being more active outdoors, and perhaps lengthening my lifespan because of it, are a positive side of the move.
  well, time to go and get something ready for dinner. many hugs, and have a good weekend.
  lindamae
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  Moment of Peace
  

  IUPUI (09/30/09)

  Hi Linda, I certainly understand your feelings about your CA 125; but, try not to worry about it (easy for me to say especially considering how much I worried about mine). It is such a small change and, I think, it really indicates that you are stable. They say that changes are more worrisome when they double and triple and when there is a rising trend. I'm glad you slept well. My headache is going away so I'm happy about that. I didn't take anything for it because I'm not really sure what's okay to take. I used to take medicine for migraines but haven't used it in years. I'm sending you a 'moment of peace' to help you not worry. Much love, Janet
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  tinynae (09/30/09)

  Thank you Linda. I'm actualy feeling ok, I slept I think 11 hours last night!! But now I do feel very good and I know all of this can be managed. Thank you for your support!! Lots of HUGE hugs!! ~Renee
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  Good Luck
  

  IUPUI (09/30/09)

  Hi Linda, I hope you are beginning to feel better. Amazingly I had one of the best night's sleep I've had in forever. I slept six hours without waking up and then fell back to sleep again. Unfortunately I have a nagging headache today. I think it may be because I did too much yesterday but I really don't know. I had my bloods drawn this morning for chemo on Friday. I hope my iron-rich diet has improved my red count. I do feel I have more energy than I did going into the last round of chemo - we'll see. It is chilly here - coat weather. We basically missed summer and now our temps are below normal. I hope we have some more warm weather. I do hope you are getting some sleep. My turn with sleeplessness starts this weekend - oh well, something to endure and get over. Much love, Janet
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  Halli (09/29/09)

  Hiya.. Feeling pretty awful really, but know that was to be expected. The doctor warned me this dose would be tough because of the chest thing. I do things opposite to you with the drugs.. I don't take the steroids and take the anti nausea stuff.. That way I get to sleep and don't feel sick. Got to say the doxil is so much easier than the platin/taxol.. it helps to tell myself that. It amazes me, at times, what we put ourselves through and put up with. It also helps to know that we do get to feel better again. So looking forward to being in Florida in January and hope to meet up with you whilst I'm there.. xxx
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  Ray of Sunshine
  

  lindamae (09/29/09)

  Hi Linda,
  Sending you a little sunshine that I wish we had right now. Brrrrr. How is your chemo going and is the Doc still keeping you on the same regimen? October may be my last time with my Doctor...I will surely miss her as it's soooo easy to talk with her. We will see when our move winds up scheduled...I look forward to eventually meeting you. Funny, it just seems that being on my "birth coast" will give me a sense of closing the circle.
  many hugs and hoping you are doing well, lindamae
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  Halli (09/29/09)

  Just read how you were feeling sick after your chemo and hoping you are feeling lots better today.. Love and hugs go with you.. Inka xxx
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  Good Luck
  

  IUPUI (09/28/09)

  Hi Linda, I hope that you were able to get your chemo. It's nice that your husband was able to come with you. Is it a special holiday there that he doesn't have school? My chemo days start early but no where near as early as your's. I have to be there by 7:30 AM and the infusions take all day. Last time I didn't finish until 4:15 PM. I think they run the Taxol slowly to prevent too much peripherial neuropathy. I'm not really sure. Plus, I'm getting about two hours worth of fluids. I hope you have a good trip home. Much love, Janet
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  IUPUI (09/28/09)

  Hi Linda, How disappointing about the race and the rain. I did see a little of the Jets football game and noticed that it wasn't raining there. I hope you don't have to walk all that distance in the rain today. We are having a cool but beautiful autumn day here. Yesterday I hardly did anything. My legs muscles are still a little sore from the walk on Saturday. Then when I came home I did a lot of cleaning. I really wanted to get more done to be ready for the down time after chemo but I just rested all day yesterday. Maybe I can finish up this week but it's hard for me to work and then do anything else. Oh well! I hope all goes well today. Much love, Janet

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