Join Now
chellelee 
9:16pm, December 5, 2008
I'm to a point where I'm done, finished, just ready to quit. I don't care about what I eat any more, how much or how little I exercise or anything. I just don't give a shit anymore. I am tired of busting my ass to get no where. I don't give a damn about looking or feeling good any fucking more! I am so pissed off right now. I worked my ass off since november 20th, exercising and eating no less than what feels like a fucking rabbit to go to the doctor and find out I've lost 2 fucking pounds! Fuck that! I'm talking like pure trash right now, but I cannot help it. It's how I fucking feel. I don't even care anymore, really. I cannot believe that is all I lost if I even really fucking lost it. It was probably the difference in a glass of water I pissed out before getting on the scale. Fuck it. I guess this is just how my life is going to be.
Well, it's been a little over a month now since beginning the hormones again. I seem to be feeling better, I still have my up and down days, but for the most part, better. I am starting to see other things in my life that could be contributing to the moodiness and I am trying to deal with that one day at a time. I have been walking at least 3 nights a week doing 1 mile in 15 minutes or less 3 times, and I haven't checked the scales yet, I don't want to. I use to love getting on them after a months time, but now, I don't want to because everytime I have in the past 2 years, there were no positive results. My family says it looks like I've lost some weight and I was able to put on a pair of jeans that I have not been able to get in comfortably in some time. So, we will see. I won't get back on a scale until January 13th, (at the doctors office). I don't know if I'll even want to know then. 
Well, meds seem to be helping great emotionally. I just wonder if my libido will ever reappear. It would be wonderful. I feel it in small doses at times, but nothing that just makes me go woohoo or anything. We just keep waiting to see....
Comments
Past Entries
| December 2008 |
Monday, 12/08
|
|
November 2008 |
|
Wednesday, 11/26
|
|
Tuesday, 11/25
|
hi
not sure what is in your meds? but have you asked about taking the bio testosterone? It did wonders for my Libido... I felt like I teenage boy when I was on it before my hysterectomy. but i have not used it since my surgery. But I am going to a new dr. so I will know more after then. But you may want to try It was like a miracle for me. Congrads on the walking and the emotional aspect. I do not know if this will help but my boyfriend and my son have lost about 50 lbs each... and they just got one of those Body bugs from 24 hr fitness and there website they love it infact my boyfriend has to gain weight now cause he lost too much. He actually is running marathons. mind you 6 months ago he could not even bend over to tie his shoes.. so you may want to check that out and ask for it for christmas...
keep me posted..
txmichelle40
Ok, I will. Cute name... body bug... I like that. I need to try something. There is an herbal supplement I was taking that was ok, but I'm scared to take that along with the current hrt, because I don't want to confuse what's working and what isn't. I have only been back on hrt for 2 weeks, it may just not have had enough time. It is called estratest. It is a mix of estrogen and testosterone. I'm going to keep taking and give it just a little more time before adding anything else. But I will keep you posted. How have you been?
chellelee