Wendyhi's Journal

I felt bad for a friend today. It seems they were having a real tough time helping somebody with some project. I didn't find out too many details, but apparently this person started complaining,  intimating that my friend didn't know his craft and that the project would have gone smoother if he did. And so of course our boss got wind of it...and my friend had to carefully explain his side of it.

And so I just feel bad that there are people out there that are so quick to twist a knife in an Innocent's back. My friend is one of those very unassuming people who take someone's critique of his work seriously. If somebody tells him his work sucks, his first instinct is to investigate to see; maybe it sucks, maybe it could be done differently, that's his attitude. It's actually one of those times where he could dismiss the other person's comments as unfounded, idiotic. But he doesn't. Like a good trouper, he takes the responsibility on himself--and that's what makes me mad because I often wonder if the other person doesn't already know that. How convenient to take your frustrations of your shortcomings out on someone else and blame your inadequacies as being caused by them--"I would have done better except the team leader screwed up."

I think there's times when you can make that stick, and there's time when you can't. With a person like my friend, it's a little like calling Mother Teresa a dirty girl. He's extremely responsible and it's to his own detriment that he doesn't fully see how diligent he truly is. That he goes and agrees with this numb-nut is just giving leverage to them, enabling them. He thinks he doing the right thing by double-checking on himself, when really he ought to be giving a smack down. Ya know, some people go to restaurants and look for excuses, ways to avoid paying the check. (I really have to talk to him, tell him he's good enough, and doesn't have to take the word of people who are coming to him for his expertise!)

I've seen this before, where people use the accusations levelled against themselves as weapons against other who couldn't possibly have that trait. Maybe they're a liar or a fuck up and get rightly called out for being one. But oh, they don't like the way that feels! And rather than admit the truth of the assertion, they deny it to themselves and to the world--"I'm not a fuck up, you are!" And if the other person denies it, this sort of person just figure they're just pulling the same denial BS they are. Their world view seems to be something like "All the world's a stage--and everybody's just a fuck up on it."--and a lying fuck up to boot! To them, every body's just covering up for themselves. I don't know what they'd think about my friend...probably that he was a total idiot for kindly going along with their little game! I think people like that just have a deep jealousy of people like my friend who aren't fuck ups, and that they must feel terribly confused and bewildered over their own inadequacies.