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Vanity 
6:15pm, August 9, 2009
Hi guys,
Sorry I've been away - had so much going and and been a bit down.
The major thing which I found out recently is that a young close relative was also raped last year around the same time I was by someone she knows. No-one knew in the family apart from her Mum, Dad and Sister. I almost threw up when I found out. I just felt so shocked and angry. She was child - 2 yrs underage (by UK law - it's 16 age of consent here) and she has to see the guy who did it to here nearly everyday (not sa relative or anything, just someone in her area). I just couldn't cope with it. For one, I hate the thought of anyone hurting her - and I know the kind of pain she must have been, and most likely still is going through. Also, I feel kind of bad cos I felt angry for 2 more kiind of selfish reasons - it brought up flashbacks of my attack, and I couldn't believe that so much could happen to the women in my family (other types of things have happened in the past). I jut felt so disgusted and angry that a person could do that to an innocent young girl. I mean I am 22 and it nearly destroyed me and still plaques me after more than a year - how would a young teen - essentially a child deal with this?
I feel so bad that we didn't know and I couldn't help, but certain family rows and issues men that it is difficult for us to have contact with her. Plus I understand wholeheartedly that as a victim of that kind of attack you don't want many people, if any, to know and it is harder in a way to tell those closest to you sometimes.
The problem is I can't speak to her about it and show my understanding, as we didn't find out from her, but from a member of her immediate family (i.e - mother) and so she doesn't know that me and my mother know. I wish I could reach out and tell her I understand and be there for her. But I also know the feeling of having someone tell you they know when you didnt choose to tell them.
I just can't believe it - I'm still in shock and feel so angry and frustrated.
I am feeling so many things that my head is spinning!
